inside casa mathiesen

We have arrived safely in Puerto Rico. It's a balmy 87 degrees and only a little humid, which is fine with me. Trip so far has been uneventful. We arrived at Casa Mathiesen only to be confused by the fact that we were supposed to go down the block to the Green Isle Inn (sister hotel) and check in there. We got picked up in a golf cart and deposited at the front desk, but had to walk back, which was fine. I finally strapped my two backpacks together and realized that I probably packed a little too much. Oh well. So far, so good. Time to hit the beach. And get something to eat. They actually fed us on the plane, which I wasn't expecting, so I can save my extra can of Slim-Fast for later. And we have a kitchenette (!) which we probably won't use for anything other than keeping that one can cold until I decide to drink it.

beachwear

So we went to the beach. We were commenting on how nice the breeze was, and how it didn't feel too hot. As soon as we laid down, and the sand blew over us like a new dune was in the works, the breeze wasn't so nice anymore. By the time we readjusted so we were a) facing the sun and b) somewhat protected from the wind by a combination of bags and towels pulled over heads, the sun dropped behind the nearest hotel. So much for that. We walked back past the bar/hotel we had cut through to get to the beach and had a margarita. Big party of lesbians staying at this hotel. Must find name. Don't know what I would do with that information, but I feel like I should know. It's behind Freddo's Italian Ristorante.

purty

Walked down Ave. Isla Verde a ways, past all the big hotels on one side and many normal-town shops on the other. Got back to our room and passed out. Slept for two hours. Woke up hungry. Went to a sandwich shop a block from our hotel which we were promptly overwhelmed by. It was a regular old deli, but everything was in Spanish and there weren't enough options that we wanted to stay and try and figure out what kind of sandwich we might want. Walked back down Ave Isla Verde again and ended up eating at a little place in a strip mall called Mi Casita. The waiter began speaking only in Spanish, but I sort of understood about half of what he said. He was kind of weasely. We worked it out. I had a mofongo con bistec. It's basically a big fatty upside down pot pie. I only ate a little of it, and it wanted out in short order.

So we walked back to the hotel, decided we wanted to just chill out a bit, and now it's 11:30 (which is 10:30 EST) and we're ready to hit the sack. I feel much better after a shower. I think I got all the sand out of my ear. Oh, wait, no. I refuse to get under the comforter until I'm sure I'm sand-free. But we're not lame. We're just acclimating. Tomorrow it's off to Old San Juan.

It's fucking March already. Found out that the name of that hotel where all the lesbians were is called Casa de Playa. It's one of the other budget options listed for Isla Verde in Frommer's. We stopped at their bar again today. My drink for the rest of the trip will be dark rum and coke. Mighty tasty. And they make them strong to boot. :9

not Geico

The temperature/air flow conditions of our hotel room are such that I never want to get out of bed again. With the ceiling fan on hi, it's just cool enough that you need to be under the covers, you have a nice fresh breeze blowing over you, and there's a little bit of white noise. As such, we were still "acclimating" and didn't get up until about noon today. We had lunch in the hotel's attached restaurant, La Marina. It was a'ight.

We got out to the beach earlier than yesterday, though, so we got some good sun in. Yesterday we walked east through Isla Verde. Today we walked west towards Ocean Park. We discovered a lot more interesting food options. I think we made it as far as Ocean Park, but we needed to cut north towards the water to hit the most interesting parts, which we didn't do.

I don't know if this is unique to this section of the island or what, but everything in this area is gated. Even to get into the neighborhoods you have to have some sort of key or passcode or something. And some places even have barbed wire. Not sure why that is. I was interested to see that there are lots of places for rent. The Green Isle Inn has apartamientos se renta. And across the highway from us are actually a bunch of high-rise apartment buildings. No idea how much they go for, though. Luxury condos in one building start at $495,000.

spooky

We had dinner at a Brazilian pizzeria, Pizzaiolo. Tasty but nothing spectacular. Took some pictures today. We discovered that there's a cemetary right next to our hotel. It looks just like the ones I saw in New Orleans - everything's above ground and there are lots of mausoleums and such. Except that everyone here's obviously Catholic. Lots of Jesuses and crosses and such. I'm practicing using the little bit of Spanish I've retained. I feel like I'm in an episode of ¿Que Hora Es? I did alright though. You know how someone says something and as soon as you say "huh?" you get what they said? I'm getting a lot of that. It took about 5 seconds for ¿fumar o no fumar? to set in. Oh well. A little gracias will go a long way.

already wasted

When we were having drinks at the Casa de Playa bar, these three 60-ish northerners (midwesterners, probably) were being obnoxious and one guy asked for a brewski. The waitress was all what the hell? and said "I don't know what that is" with such disdain. And then the jackass was all "it's a beer where we come from, a cerveza" and she totally rolled her eyes at him. As Emily succinctly put it, "We're not in Milwaukee."

emmles!

We've discovered that our hotel room has the bomb-ass cable, so you know what that means: Trading Spaces!

There must be drugs in the ceiling fan. The absence of a full window means no light comes into our room. I stirred briefly at 11:00 am when the housekeeping crew knocked, and not again until about 1-ish. Of course we did stay up until about 3:30 watching TLC. Three consecutive episodes of Amy Wynn. Woot!

como se dice phallic?

We decided to go down to Ocean Park Beach today. We were I was a little unclear as to exactly how to get there, so we walked farther than we needed to (should've taken the right fork instead of the left). We discovered that this is a public beach, so it was pretty crowded. And it was cloudy and sprinkling a smidge when we finally got there at 3:30-ish, so folks were leaving as we were arriving. I figured as long as we kept walking, no one could really tell that we had just gotten there. We waited out the raindrops and sat for a while, but there was still no sun to be had. We decided to walk along the beach for as long as we could as we headed back towards Isla Verde. We stopped at a cart where a guy was grilling shishkebobs (pinchos). There was a sign with prices for pinchos, sandwiches, and beverages. I think as soon as he realized we didn't speak Spanish, he changed his story and the pinchos were only for the people in lawnchairs next to his cart, but he could sell us juice. Whatever. The walk back ended up being a lot shorter. We didn't walk far enough into Ocean Park to see where all the good restaurants and such are, but it's far enough that we won't be walking down there just to eat. There are plenty of places nearby us that we won't be hurting for food options, though.

We couldn't resist a Burger King stop. I couldn't believe a Whopper Jr con queso was $2.50, and a Whopper Jr combo was only $2.80. No sales tax on non-grocery food here, which is nice. Since we were kinda full on BK at "dinnertime" we chilled at the hotel for a while. Went and sat out by the pool and read some more magazines. There were a few kids in the pool. This lady came down with her daughter. Obviously norteamericana by the pants she had on: too tight, sensible cotton, floral print. Her daughter was afraid to get in the pool on account of it being cold, and on account of these strange kids. The kids in the pool were trying to talk to her, but they only knew Spanish. The mom was trying to talk a little, but she wasn't great at it. It was just funny.

We went to a Mexican restaurant, Restaurante Maguey, for dinner. It was hella good. Emily says it's the best she's ever had. I wouldn't say that, but it was pretty good. She had mole poblano, and I had chicken enchiladas with mole sauce. I've decided that I like mole sauce. She had a damn good margarita, and we had bananas flambe for dessert. THAT was hella good. Some brown sugar, some banana liqueur, some dark rum, and light those bananas up. Pour it over some ice cream and MMMMMM-MMM. I'm so full I can't stand up straight. We've also learned that you definitely need to ask for the bill or else you'll never get it, and when they come around and ask you if you want anything else, don't just say no, I'm fine. That's when you ask for the bill.

otherwise very clean streets

I've gotten a lot of bug bites in the last day. One bite was on the back of my right arm, and the swelling made the outline of my tattoo stand out. That was a little weird. They're mostly on my arms, around my ankles, and then there's two on my back.

parrots on the bed!

I bought two bottles of Cruzan malt liquor. One is mojito flavored and the other is Wazi-Kozi flavored. It's fruity. That's about all I can tell. It's pretty yummy, though. I haven't tried the Mojito one yet, but I have high hopes.

that's me

We had every intention of getting up early and going to Old San Juan today. But it didn't happen. We finally got up about noon and headed right for the beach. We definitely got tan today. I'll be fine now for the rest of the week. And Monday seems to be The Day That Most Things Are Closed anyway, so maybe it's best we didn't go into town. We'll do that for sure tomorrow. We stuck to Isla Verde beach. Much less crowded. And it seemed like there were mostly tourists on the beach today. Maybe all the locals were out doing whatever they do on The Day That Most Things Are Closed.

I'm drinking the Mojito-flavored Cruzan right now. Quite tasty. I wonder if I can find this stuff at home. And now we're sucked into TLC again. I'd go hang out by the pool, but the same rowdy kids are out there. I think they're going to spend their whole entire vacation en la piscina.

just for you

Golden Girls is on. How can you not love this show? We just made a trip to Walgreen's for snacks and the liquor store for licores. I was delighted to find that Cruzan also comes in a cranberry-flavored Jumbie Brew variety. It's my favorite Cruzan variety. Everyone we've encountered has addressed us in Spanish until we've indicated that we don't speak it (usually by responding in English, even if we've correctly answered them). But the dude at the liquor store went English all the way. He's obviously Puerto Rican. Just an observation.

There are a bunch of college kids sitting out by the pool. Obviously norteamericanos. They look kinda young to me, but I can't really tell if they're younger than Emily. I suspect they are, though. I kinda wanted to say a few words to them, just to find out more info to make fun of them with. They're sipping happily on their Coronas, though, so I won't bother them. That Rose Nylund cracks me up.

too much planter's punch at la danza

We still didn't get up early, but we did go to Old San Juan today. That was muy fun, but now I'm tired. We had a really nice dinner at La Danza on Calle de la Forteleza. They have a drink called Planter's Punch which is two juices and three rums for $2. Mmmm. I had asopao and Em had fried rice with chicken. I think they were basically the same except mine was in broth and hers was just on a plate. We shopped and shopped and shopped some more.

aaaahhhh

And as we were leaving town we realized how much we had missed. The general scenery is so pretty and I got lots of pictures of it, so I don't feel a burning desire to make sure we catch all the historical sites.

so colorful

I bought some art. I got one replica of an actual store/building front - Calle de San Francisco #189. They have the "Doors of San Juan" posters here, so Emily bought one. And I bought two prints - very bold and very bright, just like I like 'em.

castillo san felipe del morro & castillo de san cristobal

We saw Castillo San Felipe del Morro (El Morro for short) and Castillo de San Cristobal, but only from the outside. I'm bummed I didn't bring my national parks pass or we could have gone inside them for free. We saw the Governor's Mansion from afar, the University of Puerto Rico School of Medicine, some churches and the such. The streets are very narrow, and the buildings very colorful. It reminded me a smidge of a cross between New Orleans and London.

el morro from san cristobal & san cristobal from el morro (my 2 favorite pics)

I was cringing at the sight of all the stupid tourists who were obviously fresh off the cruise ship. They were so obnoxious and bawdy. We stopped at a store called Pareo. Emily was picking out a dress, and the lady was sooo nice. She showed her how to tie it and everything, and I think she struck up additional conversation because we were brown. But she was going on about how retarded some of the tourist customers are. They ask how much when the prices are clearly marked and it ain't like there's a variety of other things to choose from. They ask if it's in American dollars when we're standing in a U.S. territory. And then she went on about how people our age seem to care more and want to learn about the native culture more, and then segued into how ridiculous the president is and how people abroad don't hate the people so much as they hate the government. She mentioned that Puerto Rico is a commonwealth like Massachusetts, and now I want to know more about exactly what it means to be a commonwealth in the United States. And she lamented how people stop at her shop and ask how to get to Burger King. She was very funny and very cool and we're going to make a point to go back there tomorrow and buy some more.

best toilet invention ever

Go. Flush. Wipe. Flush. That's the theme for this vacation. You have to develop a special relationship with each toilet you encounter. Some are more sensitive than others. Some have different water level/flush patterns than others. Of course nothing is as cool as the toilet at the airport with the foot-flush lever.

Bad pun of the day: I can't find my phone. Where did mofongo? Ba DUM bum.

cuba libre strikes again

More Golden Girls. I've had enough dark rum and coke that I haven't had an evening nap and I should be able to go right to sleep whenever I go to bed. Rose just found out her father is a monk who took a vow of silence. This show cracks my shit up. I just let Emily have my camera and she took a few pictures that are less than savory of me, but not embarrassing or anything. I want a vanilla wafer.

turret at san cristobal

Tomorrow: BACARDI TOUR!!!

smell that molasses

We did the Bacardi tour first thing today (note I didn't say "this morning"). It was pretty cool. That would be my dream job. We got to see the fermentation tanks and the bottling line. It was interesting to hear about how they source their ingredients and recycle their waste and all that. They only produce Bacardi Rum in three places, although there are bottling operations in many countries. The different rum varieties are made by blending the concentrated alcohol. There are about 12 master blenders all together, and a Bacardi family member must be present when the blending is done. Master blenders sign a contract that says that they will never work for another distiller ever. The view of Old San Juan across San Juan Bay from the Bacardi Distillery is beautiful with El Morro on the tip and the colorful city rising behind it.

calle del cristo @ fortaleza

We walked the entire length of Calle de Fortaleza. Twice. And a couple other streets. We stopped by Pareo again where Rebecca was very happy to see us. We bought three more pareos between the two of us and she gave us a little discount. She recommended El Parnaso around the corner on Calle del Cristo for frappes. It was actually right next to La Danza where we ate yesterday. I had two quite tasty tacos for $5 and a refreshing papaya frappe.

down the street and out to the bay

We went back into one store where the lady totally hovered over us. I bought some Puerto Rican coffee. Emily bought more sexy fruits. She obsessed over these sexy fruits. She was embarrassed to buy them, but wouldn't stop talking about them. You pick up the little fruit-shaped lids and there are mini plastic people doing dirty things underneath. I told her to make sure she remembered to remove the Made In China stickers.

cristobal de colon aka christopher columbus

We schlepped longer than we wanted to trying to finish our souvenir shopping, but we finally got it finished. The cab driver that took us back to Isla Verde was a very friendly guy. He was telling us about all the movies that had been filmed in Puerto Rico. He recommended a restaurant called Metropol, which was also mentioned in Frommer's, so after a quick nap we decided to head there for dinner, except that we couldn't find it, so we ended up walking back past our hotel to another place, Casa Dante Restaurante, which I had eyeballed earlier. Turns out almost all they had was mofongo, but there's was different than they had at Mi Casita. The "pot pie" was actually mashed fried plantain. What we got a Casa Dante was bascially a dish as listed on the menu, but with a ball of fried plantain on the side. No idea which one was "right" but it was decent. They had some pretty good sangria, too (but still not as good as Dominick's).

I don't know if it's just the area we're in or if it's normal throughout the island to have such a strong police presence. We always see cops on foot, on motorcycles, in cars. They even cruise up and down the side street that our hotel is on on a regular basis. There were a bunch of them parked outside and walking around one of the houses across the street today. Wonder what that was all about.

such is mango

Emily commented on the foreignness of Puerto Rico, how it's just foreign enough. That led me to thinking about what exactly it is that makes a place foreign. The only thing that really seems different, at least from a tourist's perspective, is the language and the food. Other than that, it *looks* the same. Same variety of cars, that's for sure. I'm sure there are more subtle cultural differences that I am not privvy to since I'm not hanging out with locals. All the English-speaking foreign countries seemed more "foreign" to me than Puerto Rico does. But maybe I just think that because they are foreign countries.

We got up early-ish and went right to the beach. After about an hour and a half I was extremely bored and extremely sandy, so I suggested we clean up and go to Pollo Tropical for late lunch, which we did. It was pretty good. I had some grilled shrimp over black beans and rice. Now we're back to the hotel room and I'm still bored. I'm clean already, so I don't really want to go hang out in the sun and get sweaty or anything. I guess I'll just take a nap or something.

While we were on the beach today, a guy named Marcos stopped by. He didn't speak much English. He seemed to think we spoke Spanish. I think it's because we're brown. Anyhoo, he had really long fingernails. And then he asked us if we went to church. I said no, and then he informed us that God loves us anyway. Good to know. And he wouldn't leave. Obviously there was a communication barrier. I wasn't volunteering any information. And he wouldn't leave. But he did, shortly after that God thing. Just strange.

over the footbridge and through the trees

After a few hours in the hotel room (or by the pool, in my case, because Emily was in here watching a baby story in the complete darkness at 4:00 in the afternoon), we went back to the Casa de Playa hotel bar. The bartender there cracks my shit up, because she's really good at *sounding* polite, but her face totally has this *you jackass* look on it. Many norteamericanos at the bar in the evening.

Just got back from Restaurante Maguey. Damn good food, as usual. And the owner and the same waitress (Shaila, DAMN she was hot) both recognized us and treated us very well. Shaila teased Emily about trying something different because she had the mole poblano again. The owner offered up some more helpful hints. The first was to take the bus into Old San Juan. It's only a quarter and you can pick it up right on Ave Isla Verde and ride it all the way into town. The second was to rent an apartment at the low low rate of approx $400/week. Seems like a lot, but considering we paid $80 a night at this hotel, it's not too bad.

So if I were recommending things to other visitors to Puerto Rico, I'd definitely say to eat at Restaurante Maguey, to stay in Isla Verde, to look into renting an apartment for a week, to look into renting a car for at least a day or two so you can go to El Yunque (the nearby rainforest) and to stop by Pareo on Fortaleza (at Calle del Cristo) and say hi to Rebecca. Even if you don't buy a dress, she'll give you good tips on places to eat and drink in Old San Juan.

northern coast

We figured we'd just go on and check out of the hotel since we had to be out by noon and come on to the airport. We could kill 3.5 hours and it would be no big deal. We decided to check our bags. At the ticket counter they said our flight was delayed but nothing about why or for how long. This was before we had actually checked in so I thought maybe they were talking about an earlier flight to Detroit. Then as I'm wandering around the terminal I get a flight status page from Northwest saying our flight is delayed from a 3:45 pm departure to 6:00. I called the 800 number to ask if we could get on an earlier flight and was informed that this is the only flight from San Juan to Detroit. So our 4-hour wait has become a 6.5-hour wait. B.O.R.I.N.G. Although the outrageously-priced McBurger I had is making me sleepy.

I'm mad that there is all kinda sand inside my Discman. The buttons won't push right. I can see sand in the little display window. It randomly cuts off in the middle of playing. Or sometimes it just won't start. Good thing I never used it much anyway.

hasta la vista

We finally got on the plane at about 6:30 pm. It's a 4.5-hour flight. An hour and a half only got us as far as West Palm Beach. I was looking at a "You Are Here" postcard in a gift shop at the airport, and I didn't realize until then how far east Puerto Rico really is.