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(via Casey)
Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks...
"How many is a brazillion?"
No laptop at the moment. And not really in the mood. I've actually been *gasp* reading books.
Today marks three years I've been doin' this thang.
Back in a few. Smell ya later.
*smug*
Today was a long and tiring day at work, in which I was alternately fired up and dragging ass, over and over. Up and down the rollercoaster.
When I finally left (late, *grumble*), my normal 12-minute drive home took an hour because of construction on the highway. Twice I considered taking alternate routes, once before I even knew of the construction, and again as I approached it. I spent some of that hour trying to figure out what the lesson in all that was. Maybe I was supposed to be practicing patience. Although I'm betting that practicing patience probably didn't involve mentally screaming at the other cars on the road.
So I'm home and I'm still sort of keyed up. But totally pooped as well. I don't really know what to do with myself. I was feeling like my to-do list for the weekend was a mile long, but when I actually wrote some stuff down, it wasn't really. Meh. I think I ought to just go to bed. Get up early, run the 5K on the Runway, and then nap regroup after that. Worry about all that other shit later.
*yawn*
I had a whole backlog of these to do, but the long list was making me not do it. So I'll just jump back in with this week's questions.
1. Do you own any TV shows on DVD? Family Guy, Xena, South Park. Not complete collections, but a season or two of each.
2. What's your inseam? Uhh... 'bout 28 maybe?
3. Do you have a wireless internet connection at home? YES. I'd have it no other way.
4. What's your favorite thing about autumn? Only one thing? I don't have one favorite thing. I love - in no particular order - the weather (such as it is, here in the midwest), college football season, the food, the clothes in my wardrobe that go with the weather, that dead leaf smell.
5. Have you ever bleached your teeth? Nope.
6. What's your best feature, appearance-wise? My butt, maybe.
7. What's your best feature, personality-wise? My sense of humor, maybe.
8. What's your favorite memory from high school? I had a lot of happy high school moments. Participating in our production of Jesus Christ Superstar my sophomore year. My basketball team winning the Catholic League championship my junior year (not that I personally had much to do with that). Leaving campus to go get slurpees and sunflower seeds, and then showing up late to calculus my senior year. Coincidentally, I had a really fucked up dream last night about my high school reunion (which is upcoming this fall).
9. If you were forced to change your name (first and last), what would you like it to be? Wha? My mind sort of automatically filled in my preferred baby names (you know, for those kids I won't be having), but that feels a little strange. And I'm quite sure I've never considered a last name before. How about Leigh... ummm... Leigh something.
10. Ask me something. What's the next thing you're going to buy?
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
I've been thinking a lot about privilege in general and race in particular lately, so when Lauren recommended some reading, Sydney's post was particularly striking.
I'd expect a blog entry entitled "I've Had Enough! aka Sometimes, I fucking can't STAND white people!" to be one helluva read. And it was. If I excerpted the best parts, I'd just be reposting it in its entirety. Read the whole thing, as they say. And then read the follow up.
I often doubt myself too much to get angry when I should. Especially since I have this pesky problem with being biracial wherein I feel neither black nor white, instead of both black and white. How can I get properly indignant as a black person when I don't really identify as black?
So all this has been simmering in the back of my head, and wouldn't you know it, a guy I work with gave me the perfect opportunity yesterday to school someone on it. The gist of the conversation is he started out with the statement "I hate New Orleans" and it evolved into how he thinks, in typical Republican fashion, that anybody can make their lives better if they just try. I gotta say, that particular conservative belief pisses me off to no end. He grew up a poor farm boy in northern Minnesota and he's proud of himself for being the only one in his family who has left the farm and is going to college and has made better for himself.
So I explained to him the concept of privilege. To make these changes in his life, he had to make a number of decisions, and all those decisions involved him asking someone to give him something, and part of his success is attributable to the fact that those people gave him those things he asked for. Now, it's not necessarily his fault, but the fact of the matter is that someone else who is not white or male could choose to make those same requests, and not be guaranteed to get the same results as he did.
I also made the point that for a lot of people the obstacles they face are due to the fact that they're poor and there are plenty of poor white people who have trouble getting by in life. But there's also the fact that the proportion of the minority population that is poor is far greater than the proportion of the white population that's poor. So the question there is how did that condition get to be that way? He totally didn't believe me when I asserted that that holds true in the Twin Cities.
He was all pissed off, though, about how he thinks he has a harder time getting jobs because he's a white male and companies would rather hire minorities, even if the minorities are less qualified. He maintains that because of affirmative action, minorities with the exact same qualifications as him have a leg up when it comes to getting jobs, just because they're minorities. Not realizing that when AA is not "actively practiced," he already has the leg up. (I'll refrain from going into a whole discussion about affirmative action in higher education and the work force, and the differences in hiring considerations between blue collar and white collar jobs.)
He also used the term "colored people." I told him to not ever say that again. Christ almighty, that shit went out in, like, the '50s.
In case you didn't watch or missed part of Lost last season, you can catch an hour-long recap tonight, before the premier. Destination: Lost is on at 8/7c, and the Lost season premier is at 9/8c.
Just so you know.
Ever since the Better Than Ezra show at the Blubber Run, I've been on a BTE kick. Whenever I hear them, I always think, "Hey, I really like them." Like, seriously, I'd list them as a favorite band behind Guster and Dave Matthews Band. But I don't exactly keep up with them or play their songs in very heavy rotation, for some odd reason. But thank jeebus for BitTorrent. I just acquired all of their albums in one fell swoop, including a B-sides and rarities collection called Artifakt. Anyway....
Bonus Material: I know we've all heard, or at least heard about, Kanye West's claim on the Hurricane Katrina Telethon that George Bush doesn't care about black people. Did you know there's a remixed version of Gold Digga on the topic? Heh. (via Karen)
You can no longer make your way to this domain by googling my full name.
*whew*
Also, my doctor reports that my cholesterol is good and I am STD- and cervical-cancer-free.
If there are any Twin Citizens reading this that don't already read the Minneapolis Metblog, we are looking for new bloggers.
Of course, I'd suggest reading it some before you apply. I only said it that way because if you read Metblog you would have read already that we're looking for new people.
Whatever. You get my point. If you're local and you're interested, go apply.
The Sacramento Monarchs won the WNBA Championship. Once Minnesota and Detroit were out, Sacramento's who I was rooting for.
I'm so glad Felicity Huffman won. She's my favorite Desperate Housewife.
I think I harbor more than my fair share of negative, pessimistic, snarky thoughts.
But some people's bitterness just astounds me. Not just the pessimism, but the vitriol with which they attack every little thing.
It's one thing to have a bad day. It's one thing to be aware of this tendency. But to just be angry like that all the time seems like a huge, useless expense of energy.
It also completely discredits you when you have legitimate complaints.
I was informed that before Bosslady transferred out of my department, she and Hey Mon campaigned long and hard for me to be Bosslady's replacement.
But that got shot down. Don't know who it was up the chain that nixed it, but somebody didn't like it.
I don't want to be the impetuous child that stomps their foot and cries, "No fair!" I know that to some extent I have to prove I can do a job before I get it.
But for the love I cannot come up with any good reason why I should not have had a fair shot at Bosslady's job. Seriously. It's an unorthodox pattern of ascension in my company, but it is not at all unreasonable.
The only reasons I can think of that are keeping me back are a) I went to the wrong school, and b) I'm not white. And it probably doesn't help that I'm gay, either.
It really seems that obvious, but I'm having a hard time with that thought. What do I have other than a sense of unease to prove that I'm being discriminated against? Plus, it feels like I'm blaming the whole thing on someone else and giving up on the possibility that maybe there's something more I should be doing.
I'll be damned if I know what that is, though. I've done damn near as much as I can do from the position I'm in to prove my ability. The only other thing I can think of is to kiss some more ass. Which I detest doing. Seriously. Loathe it. And there's only so much ass to kiss. The company ain't that big. I had my meeting with the VP. He at least appeared to listen to what I had to say and suggested some next steps. Although his suggestions were basically to meet with some more people and kiss some more ass.
My application for an engineering spot in another department has gone nowhere. I got all excited about that, and it fizzled in a heaping pile of red tape. Oh, wait, I think we're waiting to see what happens with the budget.
So it felt good to know that Bosslady and Hey Mon think so highly of me, and that it was obvious to someone else that my moving into that Production Supervisor role made sense. And, frankly, I'd much prefer that to going into validation. But FUCKIN' A this is ridiculous.
I want to cry. I want to throw a temper tantrum. I want to quit and leave them in the lurch (although, it's not like I'm irreplaceable). This is a big fat kick in the pants, and not the good kind. The motivating kind. Work has been frustrating as hell lately, and that's not even considering all this stuff I just talked about. That's just the day-to-day of being there and trying to get my job done. I swear the last three weeks have been damn near unbearable.
I'm glad I've got enough other stuff going on that I can go home and forget about work all together, because otherwise this would be eating me alive.
Lots of time with Fly Girl over the last couple of weekends. Now that she's back in class and working and doing her practicum, the only overlapping free time we have is on the weekend. Gotta get my fill while I can.
Oh, did I mention we're back together now? Yeah.
Hence the dearth of blogging on weekends. We've been out doing stuff:
As I mentioned, last Saturday I ran the James Page Blubber Run. It was too damn hot. I went out too hard. I wasn't trying to make a particular time and I blew five minutes waiting for free beer that would have taken 20 minutes more to get. So I turned right around at a point where the course doubled back on itself. More importantly, FG was waiting to meet me when I was done, which happened to be right when she got out of class. We killed some time by walking over to Marshall Field's. FG shopped and I followed. Then it was back to the post-race party site for a free Better Than Ezra concert. Which was great! Except that I really only know their first two CDs. I'm going to have to go pick up download obtain their newest one, from which I have a new theme song: Juicy. FG says it's very me. The sound and the beat and the way I like to dance and whatnot. I dig it.
So with all that I spent a good portion of that day encrusted in my own salt. After a quick shower and a Chipotle run, FG took me on a drive around North Minneapolis. Most of the places we drove I've never been to. Just never had a reason to go to North Minneapolis. But it's really... interesting. The ghettoness factor of a lot of streets/neighborhoods turns on a dime. The Humboldt Greenway development is particularly interesting. There are so many neighborhoods with really crappy looking houses and really amazing looking houses on the same block. Houses that look like they should be on Lake of the Isles or on Summit Ave. I wonder what the mix of neighbors is like. Because I saw plenty of black folks, but also some 20-something white folks having barbecues in their yards. Weird.
Anyway, we hit the sack early because FG had to get up early to ride in the St. Paul Classic. I slept a little later, did my seven miles, then cleaned around the house. Grabbed a shower and headed over to Lake Calhoun to hang out with FG while she napped read stuff for class. Back to my house for a while, then sent her home.
This Saturday she came over to my house after class. We shopped She shopped and I followed for a few hours, then she left to go to a murder mystery party. I didn't do much of anything, then went over to her house when she was done. This afternoon we biked for a couple hours, hung out for a couple hours in which I watched Game 3 of the WNBA Finals (Go Monarchs!) and she did some homework. We watched the Emmys, then I sent her home again.
It's my observation that the lesbians that complain about not seeing themselves adequately represented in the media are, ironically, the lesbians that most people think of when they think of a stereotypical lesbian.
But they don't want to be stereotyped.
Additionally, that's not at all what I look like. Where are all the Girls Next Door That Clean Up Nice? Although I do occasionally make betraying wardrobe choices. You know, do-rag, tank top, cargo shorts, Birkenstocks. But I could sport Bette Porter's wardrobe if I had to (which I would if I were a rich L.A. art museum executive). And it would look damn good on me.
This week has been a mostly unremarkable week in training. I took a couple days off when the weather sucked or I didn't feel up to it. I got in some good bike rides. I did my six miles this weekend at a 10:30 min/mile pace (my target Ten Miler race pace) with minimal effort. I've been slacking on my meager dumbbell arm routine and sit-ups. Meh.
Looking into signing up for a gym membership to give me somewhere to go during the winter. Not super thrilled about the idea of joining a gym, but I know in the dead of Minnesota winter I'm not gonna be outside on the road. My health insurance provides me with a discount at Bally's, but I'd much rather go to the Y. In either case, it's not all that cheap and I haven't decided yet if it really fits in my budget or not. $37/month is the discounted rate at Bally's, and $46/month is the rate at the Y. The Y seems to have more no-additional-charge classes but Bally's seems to have more amenities (that I probably wouldn't use anyway).
Especially when I know I'm right. Especially when I had a perfectly good reason for doing what I did. If you disagree, ask me first. Don't just go changing shit.
It pisses me off to no end. Seriously.
'Fess up.
(click to embiggen)
My experimentation with the heart rate thing and my comfort with my increasing long distance is pointing me towards what goal times to set for the Ten Miler. I'll have a better idea in a couple weeks when I do 8 miles. That'll be my longest training run before race day.
Hopefully the cooler weather will help me out some. I can't believe it's only three weeks away. I can't believe October is only three weeks away. Also, I've been not feeling so great lately. My hips have been bothering me. Not while I'm running but afterward. And a little bit of that pesky knee ache is back. I'm wondering if I just had a bad week, or if I need to ease up a little. As it is, I really only take one day off a week, between the running and the biking. Maybe skip a shorter run or two and bike some more. Although, I checked in on my training program for the upcoming week and am reminded that I've put in more longer runs than usual (for me) in the last week and a half.
Ran the James Page Blubber Run on Saturday. The slogan being, "How about a 5K beer run?" It's more of a fun run with funky hats and costumes, free beers, and a free concert. Good times. Also hoping to do 5k on the Runway in a couple weeks. I don't really need to do a 5K race, nor do I need to spend the money on yet another entry fee, but I can't resist the opportunity to run on an airport runway.
Confession: I really wonder what my calves look like when I run.
Lately, I haven't been hearing As It Happens on MPR. It's on at 10:00 pm and as such I listen to it every day on my way home from work. I love me some Mary Lou Finley and Barbara Budd. Also, I haven't been hearing Future Tense, which usually re-airs in the middle of AIH, at 10:30.
I was all ready to send an email off to MPR when I noticed that the shows are still listed on the program schedule. After a week with no AIH, I happened to catch Future Tense's podcast explaining how CBC management has locked out its workers. AIH's website isn't even up. Apparently, a number of the locked out staff are creating their own blogs and podcasts, some anonymously. All the news on that situation can be found at CBC Unplugged.
My financial situation has been stressing me out since I quit my last job three years ago. So a few weeks ago I decided I needed to get some help.
Let's catch up for those that haven't been with me since the beginning. I had moved to Minnesota to work for a big company that paid me a lot, but after a couple years I decided I hated that job. So I took a severance package and I quit. I traveled the country for about five months, then I moved back to Michigan. Sat in my parents' house unemployed for a year. Racked up a ridiculous amount of credit card debt. Got desperate and moved back to Minnesota, taking a job with my current employer that paid me about 60% of what I was making before. Which leads me to the current situation. Much less pay with much more debt. Paycheck to paycheck, choosing each month who's not going to get paid, etc. A series of bad decisions on my part. Totally my own fault.
I knew I needed to take this step, but I was afraid because I was viewing it as a last resort and if it didn't work out, then what would I do? Initially, I made appointments with Tara (a financial counselor) and with Family Means. Family Means would have put me straight into a debt managment program (a "DMP"), and it would have been free. Tara would charge me $50 an hour and she'd actually do budget analysis and some other stuff.
Thank the lord I met with Tara first. The idea of paying her $50 an hour when I don't really have extra money to spend was completely unappealing, but I figured I'd just go and see what she had to say and if I didn't like it I just wouldn't go back. Well, she went through all the numbers with me, which took about 20 minutes. That same day, she immediately got on the phone with my credit card companies and started taking care of business. She didn't think I needed a DMP, as long as my credit cards would agree to a plan so I could self-manage the problem.
Here's how fucked up credit card companies are: As long as your payments are current, they won't do a damn thing to help you. It's not until you're a good two months behind that they'll even consider cutting you a deal. I had previously made calls to my credit card companies which were completely unproductive. Silly me had busted my ass to bring them current before I called. So between meetings with Tara, I just didn't pay anything, so I'd have better leverage to make a deal with.
I canceled the appointment with Family Means. As of today I've spent two and a half hours of my life with Tara and have things as squared away as they possibly could be at the moment (save a $30,000 windfall).
I've never calculated my budget without including credit card payments. It kind of amazes me how much extra cash flow I could actually have. It amazes me how much extra cash flow I have right now that I have plans set up to pay off my cards. I mean, it ain't a whole lot. The fact that I'm ecstatic over an extra $100 or $150 a month says a great deal about the state of my finances.
All the while, Tara was telling me that my situation could be a lot worse. I could have bill collectors knocking on my door. I could have my house foreclosed on and my car repossessed. That was reassuring for about five minutes. But as Fly Girl astutely reminded me, it doesn't matter that it could be worse. The fact is that my current situation stresses the hell out of me and I need to fix it. Which Tara did help me with. She's not there to be my therapist, she's there to run my numbers.
So I'll work with the current state of cash flow for a few months. I have two credit cards that are in "agreements" and one that I'm keeping current. Not paid off and close to maxed out, but not behind on payments. According to my Client Action Plan, my job is to stick to my budget, keep making the agreed payments with the two cards, make accelerated payments on the one card, and save a little bit each month. Then I should go see Tara again when I need to re-budget.
That, ladies and germs, is a load off.
...I filled up on gas at $1.57. *sigh*
From Mel, and seen in various places. Five of my quirks/idiosyncracies:
I have a hard time swallowing pills. Today I could not get my vitamin to go down. Those damn things are huge. After 8 oz of water, all I'd managed was to suck the outer coating off. I tried again with coffee. No go. I tried to cut one in half, but by that point my throat was having none of it. So no vitamin today (and three in the garbage).
*gag*
Not trying to be a beacon of info here. Just marking down the stuff that catches my eye.
MJ is on her way to the scene to help out. Good on ya, MJ.
Powerful video at Rocketboom. Read the notice and click the link at the end to watch. Page through the comments, too. There's a bit of controversy over it. (via Mace)
A friend of mine who works for the federal government would like to remind everyone that the government is actually doing something, but here's the thing: Basically, the structure of the federal response is not at issue. There's this thing called the Incident Command System that's used throughout the world and was especially critical in the tsunami relief effort. When it's implemented, it works very well. Once personnel and supplies are in place, the execution is not a problem. The problem is the highly political and bureaucratic workings of FEMA. That and FEMA doesn't have/can't (or won't) get the money ahead of time to pre-position resources as needed. So don't hate the folks that are actually delivering goods and services. Blame the top dogs that are in charge of getting them out there in the first place. They need to quit trying to figure out which Senator it would be more advantageous to appease first.
The foreign aid offers are rolling in (which answers Kelley's question).
By Friday, offers had been received from Armenia, Australia, Austria, Azerbaijan, Bahamas, Belgium, Britain, Canada, China, Colombia, Cuba, Dominica, the Dominican Republic, Ecuador, El Salvador, France, Germany, Greece, Georgia, Guatemala, Guyana, Honduras, Hungary, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Mexico, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Paraguay, the Philippines, Portugal, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Slovak Republic, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, South Korea, Sri Lanka, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, Venezuela and the United Arab Emirates.
Apparently we're not turning anything down, we're just accepting some offers sooner and some later depending on what we need on the ground. Too bad we don't seem to know exactly what it is we need on the ground. (via Michael)
And, of course, comforting words from our leader.
We've got a lot of rebuilding to do. First, we're going to save lives and stabilize the situation. And then we're going to help these communities rebuild. The good news is -- and it's hard for some to see it now -- that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch. (Laughter.)
Um, right. (via House 8)
Tino, a student of all things customer service, notes that "government workers will tend to watch things go to hell, as long as they go to hell according to procedures." A good point, but refer back to my anonymous government tipster friend for the distinction between the top decision makers and the rank and file.
It blows my mind that people could die of diseases like botulism and typhoid due to the conditions down there. These are things that we, in this rich-ass country of ours, are not supposed to have to worry about.
Some thoughts on the "culture of life" and our jacked up priorities here in America (via Lauren), a long but good read on victims vs survivors (via Chaz), and the umitigated gall of some people (also via Lauren).
I challenge you guys to ask me hard questions. And you do! Lawdy.
Looks like my mySQL database disappeared there for a minute. I hate that shit. Disappearing databases make the Baby Jesus cry.
Everyone's questions have been answered, but I'm not at my computer at the moment, so that'll have to wait until tomorrow.
Maybe I'm on a kick, having stopped by the Mensa booth at the State Fair.
I did, and could still, pass 8th-Grade math with flying colors. 10 out of 10.
Unsatisfied with that exercise, I forged on to find that I'd still do pretty damn well on the math section of the SAT. 6 out of 6.
And, to prove that I'm well rounded, I'd do all right on the SAT writing section, too. 10 out of 10. Frankly, that was a surprise.
How would you do?
Area code 612 at the moment. Make sure you write that down.
I've slacked on posting about this the last few weeks. I've got shit going on this weekend making it likely that I won't get my run in tomorrow, so I did it today.
Four weeks to the TC Ten Mile. Four weeks!
I've been right on schedule this week, but I admit I slacked off a bit the previous two. I wasn't sleeping too well and decided, for the sake of my co-workers, that I'd do better to spend those couple of hours in bed. In the last few weeks I've run two seven-mile long runs. One on the Kenilworth trail to downtown Minneapolis, and one loop of both Lake Calhoun and Lake Harriet. No problems with either outing.
The last week I've been focusing on maintaining heart rate on my shorter runs. I've only attempted this on runs up to four miles, and so far on each I've turned in about a 9:40 min/mile pace without too much trouble. Definitely feels different in the legs, though.
Body fat, according to both this calculator and the Department of Defense formula, is about 24.5%. I forget what it was last time I measured (in the very beginning stages of this running thing), but I vaguely recall it being about 27%. I think. Which corresponds with the fact that I seem to be down yet another pants size. Which is fine, but I can't afford to keep buying clothes. I stocked up when my weight stabilized, and I don't want to do it again.
Another sign of progress: I didn't realize until about five minutes into today's run that I forgot to take my inhaler. Fortunately, immediate constriction of my bronchial tubes and alveoli was not the reminder. My chest felt a little tighter than usual, but I was able to complete my two lake loops at my usual pace and bike back home. I couldn't believe it. When it first dawned on me, I spent a moment thinking that now that I got my butt out here, it would really suck to have to turn around and go back home to take my drugs and come back out again. But I figured I'd go as far as I could and it would be easy enough to walk back home. Didn't feel a need to stop at all. Since I started taking that inhaler, I have not ever been able to exercise without it. And here today I ran seven miles and biked almost four more. Which is not to say that I'm gonna stop taking it. I don't know if continuing to go without it would aggravate the asthma. Don't really need to find out. Just good to know that I won't wheeze to death on the street if I find myself in an emergency without my drugs.
I ran up alongside a couple women on the path between Lake Harriet and Lake Calhoun and ended up doing all of Calhoun with them. Andrea was doing 40 miles for her 40th birthday, and training for her first ultramarathon. Marie was keeping her company for this middle 10-mile segment of her day. I was on mile four, and she was on mile 25. Sheesh. Andrea's run close to 30 marathons, so I got some inspiring words from her. They were very nice, right at my pace, and made those last 40 minutes fly by. I can see how running with someone could be fun. (And I had no trouble carrying on a conversation despite my inhaler-less state.)
Four weeks!