A friend of the family is getting married in November. This girl was in my dance class (yay, Borgo!) for, like, ten years. Our moms are friends and still hang out. The wedding is the weekend before Thanksgiving. I figured regardless of where I'm working or living and what my hours are, I ought to be able to make it home and have that also be Thanksgiving with the fam. I'd come home Saturday morning and return... uh... home... Sunday evening.
So, my mom has been asking me weekly for months if I've bought my plane ticket yet. I have not. Every week I tell her I'm monitoring prices. It's the same story: if the price drops low enough, I can use the credit I have with Northwest and not have to pay additional cash. Otherwise I'll drop frequent flyer miles. I guess I didn't adequately convey that I definitely plan on being there, because my mom was surprised when I told her as much the other day. Now there's a question of where I might actually be flying from, but I'll be there no matter what. Although, if it weren't for the wedding, I wouldn't be going home before Christmas.
Anyway, when my mom heard this news, she went on about how excited the bride-to-be's mom will be to hear I'm coming because she's mentioned a few times that she really hopes I can be there. Our whole fam got one invitation, so I told mom to go ahead and RSVP that I'll be there.
Except she wants it to be a surprise, so she wanted to tell them that she doesn't know if I'm coming, but she hopes they can accommodate me if I do. I say that I think this is a bad idea and kinda rude because they've got to pay for a plate. So she wants to RSVP that Emily will be there, and that she'll be bringing a guest, and I'll just be the guest. I haven't seen the invitation, so I don't know how exactly it's addressed and if etiquette allows for Emily to be bringing a guest in the first place. But, fine, whatever. I think they've got bigger things to worry about than whether or not I'll be there, but I don't see any harm in the situation.
Here's my beef, though. It's a totally moot point, but it still chafes me.
What if I had a guest I wanted to bring? And, to a lesser extent, what if Emily had a guest she wanted to bring? There was no consideration of that on my mom's part whatsoever. Maybe because she knows thinks neither of us is dating anyone. I might bring it up next weekend when she asks me if I've gotten my plane ticket yet.
I'm not trying to create conflict here. Like I said, it's a moot point. Part of why I like living way away from home is that it stays moot until I decide otherwise. But my mother's mindset on the matter is skewed because I'm gay. If I were straight, she'd be asking all kinds of questions about whether or not I have anyone I'd like to bring. She's probably asked Emily if she has anyone she'd like to bring. Or at least she wouldn't hesitate to ask if it crossed her mind.
Fortunately for her, I was not home to attend the bridal shower, because you know these sorts of things compel the hens to start the Inquisition on the single folk (or ask the baby-less about babies at baby showers). In that sort of situation I always fantasize about responding with, "I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon, but it doesn't matter because I can't get legally married in this country anyway." In reality I'd probably just deflect the question since these are mostly complete strangers or people I haven't seen since we first got our varsity jackets.