Purging

The closest I've come to journaling over the last couple years is having a super-secret password-protected blog.

How 21st century, no?

And as with journaling on paper in the years prior to that, I really only sit down to write when things go really really wrong. Yesterday I did the digital equivalent of burning it. Deleted it. Poof. Gone.

There were actually a few non-negative entries in there, but they don't do me a whole lot of good now. Some people can go back to their past writings and think about how far they've come. How much they've grown. With the really old stuff from my college days I can do that a little bit. But mostly all it does is take me right back to how I felt at that time.

So. Gone.

It wasn't an accurate representation of the whole picture, anyway. I've got all that in my head, for better or for worse. I don't need to keep it on a server somewhere for posterity.

I almost didn't even read through it. But I did. I hadn't even looked at it in so long, I wasn't sure what all I had put in there. Ironically, reading about the happy moments was harder than reading about the sad ones. I don't need that shit anymore.