And then there was one....

The guy's got good reasons for leaving. I don't blame him. But I'm totally selfishly worried about myself right now. No senior engineer has been hired. No manager has been hired. Sounds like we're not even that close to hiring anyone. The planned rotation of internal folks included moving a more senior person back over to our department, but this guy quitting (and, coincidentally, another guy, also on Friday) has messed all that up.

My director is out on vacation all next week. I hope he's enjoying himself. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse that I'll be on vacation for a week. I need the time with the departing guy to absorb, oh, everything.

No, I'm glad I'm taking it, because I don't think I'll be going anywhere for a while. I still have 7 days to use. We'll see about that. I see extended working hours in my future.

I know I should be looking at this as an opportunity. A chance to prove myself and show my stuff. Pardon me if I'm having a hard time getting there right now. I know, and I've been told, that folks are pretty glad they hired me and got me in when they did. Because no one that was new to the company could have gotten as up to speed as I have. So I feel good about that.

But damn. DAMN.

It was funny, the senior engineer that quit emailed me almost immediately asking if the rumor was true and if I was next. Somebody must have tipped him off. I joked about how my plan to take over the department was working perfectly. And then he offered me a job with his current company. Heh.

He also suggested that at my next review I ought to make a case for being granted senior engineer status. Issues with the complete lack of structure and definition around career ladders and job titles aside, I thought that was interesting. But that's getting a little ahead of myself.

So after my director gave me the news, I went out to the parking lot and cried for a few minutes. I tried really hard not to, but that ended up seeming pointless. I just couldn't hold it in. I thought I felt unsupported when the first two guys left. Sheesh.

But, now that the shock has worn off, I'm not quite so worried about it. Really, what concerns me most is just the sheer volume of the workload. My director did say that, since most of the engineers have spent time in my department, some of the workload can get spread around amongst them. Particularly where it pertains to their own departments. We're gonna pow-wow after we all get back from vacation (two days before dude leaves) and talk about resources then. My only concern is if they bring in contract folks. Because you spend more time getting them up to speed.

I'm feeling like this could be a defining moment. Going back to the whole opportunity thing. This is sink or swim time. I hope I'm up to it. I know there's no way I can manage all this and not have to ask for help. I just hope I have the presence of mind to ask for it before someone thinks I need it and is not just offering because they should, but because it looks like I'm floundering.

Meh. I'm just going to do what I can over the next three days and then enjoy my damn vacation. No sense in stressing about it now because there's nothing I can do, right now, on Saturday night.