Reader Poll Monday

For some reason, I feel like this should be a festive event. Like it should be "Reader! Poll! Monday!" But I'm not feeling very festive today.

1. How many languages can you speak, at least at a conversational level? One. If you count being able to converse at perhaps a kindergarten level, then two. Spanish being the second language.
2. Do you believe that bad things happen in threes? Not really. But I will partake in the "People die in threes, wonder who's next?" conversation.
3. If you could take away the pain (physical or emotional) of any one person, who would you choose and why? Really, I'd selfishly like for my own emotional discomfort to be taken care of. But instead I'll extend the relief to the wife of a co-worker who committed suicide over the weekend.
4. What is something most people don't know about you? You know, I don't know that there is anything that most people don't know. If anyone that does know me would like to offer a suggestion, I'd be interested to hear it.
5. If you had the opportunity to learn the salaries of everyone you encountered, would you want to know? Hell yeah.
6. What is one album or song that you think everyone should listen to? Guster's Demons. Bestest. Guster. Song. Ever. (In fact, here: have a listen.)
7. Do you like to go grocery shopping? Not really, but I don't hate it.
8. For a $1,000 donation to your favorite charity, would you be willing to walk around all day in public with a giant brown stain on the seat of your pants? Yes. And you sure better believe I'd tape a sign to my back with a big ol' arrow that says "It's for charity."
9. What are your thoughts on artificial sweeteners? I know in theory that they're bad for me, but I don't mind 'em as long as they don't taste weird.
10. Ask me something. I'm sad today. Anything you're sad about?