A Tidbit of Work News

I don't want to be the impetuous child that stomps their foot and cries, "No fair!" I know that to some extent I have to prove I can do a job before I get it.

But for the love I cannot come up with any good reason why I should not have had a fair shot at Bosslady's job. Seriously. It's an unorthodox pattern of ascension in my company, but it is not at all unreasonable.

The only reasons I can think of that are keeping me back are a) I went to the wrong school, and b) I'm not white. And it probably doesn't help that I'm gay, either.

It really seems that obvious, but I'm having a hard time with that thought. What do I have other than a sense of unease to prove that I'm being discriminated against? Plus, it feels like I'm blaming the whole thing on someone else and giving up on the possibility that maybe there's something more I should be doing.

I'll be damned if I know what that is, though. I've done damn near as much as I can do from the position I'm in to prove my ability. The only other thing I can think of is to kiss some more ass. Which I detest doing. Seriously. Loathe it. And there's only so much ass to kiss. The company ain't that big. I had my meeting with the VP. He at least appeared to listen to what I had to say and suggested some next steps. Although his suggestions were basically to meet with some more people and kiss some more ass.

My application for an engineering spot in another department has gone nowhere. I got all excited about that, and it fizzled in a heaping pile of red tape. Oh, wait, I think we're waiting to see what happens with the budget.

So it felt good to know that Bosslady and Hey Mon think so highly of me, and that it was obvious to someone else that my moving into that Production Supervisor role made sense. And, frankly, I'd much prefer that to going into validation. But FUCKIN' A this is ridiculous.

I want to cry. I want to throw a temper tantrum. I want to quit and leave them in the lurch (although, it's not like I'm irreplaceable). This is a big fat kick in the pants, and not the good kind. The motivating kind. Work has been frustrating as hell lately, and that's not even considering all this stuff I just talked about. That's just the day-to-day of being there and trying to get my job done. I swear the last three weeks have been damn near unbearable.

I'm glad I've got enough other stuff going on that I can go home and forget about work all together, because otherwise this would be eating me alive.