Hereby Notified

Important Changes to Your Citizenship Agreement

Amongst other things:

SECTION 47
The Social Security section of the Agreement is unchanged, except that the program described will no longer be (a) social or (b) secure.

SECTION 53
The Right to Vote section of the Agreement is unchanged, since it works perfectly fine as is.

SECTION 53a
On second thought, the Right to Vote section of the Agreement is amended as follows: The voting cycle begins on Dec. 1 of the previous year and continues through the last Wednesday in November of the current year. Each vote cast will accrue finance charges beginning on the date cast and compounded daily. Finance charges will equal the highest Prime Rate published in the "Money Rates" table of the Wall Street Journal on the last business day of each calendar month, plus 15.99%.

I love Slate. Why did I stop reading Slate? Oh yeah, because their RSS feed sucks. Pity.