Hoss Dream, Paper Products, Bodily Functions, Stupid Quotes

I had a dream last night. After discovering a copy of The Advocate sitting amongst my things, Hoss decided to have a talk with me about it. Except that she didn't actually come right out and ask me anything. She sort of pointed out some things in the magazine which weren't even particularly gay. And so I had fun messing with her a bit. I don't argue very well in real time, but she makes me feel invincibly intelligent. And nothing was ever resolved. And then I woke up.

It amazes me how toilet paper and kleenex (I have never and never will refer to it as "tissue") are so well suited to their roles, but don't make very good substitutes for each other. You can easily blow a hole through toilet paper, but your kleenex will rip to shreds when you wipe. And what seems soft enough in one location doesn't seem so soft in another. Paper science at its best.

My mother likes to use the term "morning clear out." It's that first trip to the bathroom, that first blowing of the nose, that tendency of everything - gas, liquid, and solid - that pools inside you while you lay prone all night to rush to the nearest exit the second you're vertical. I'm sitting here in the middle of the afternoon, sniffling a little. My mom asks if I'm coming down with something. I say no. Then it must just be some morning clear out. Admittedly, I did sleep late, but it's been a few hours since I got up. Ick. Just... ick.

Ridiculous Quote of the Day: "I just don't believe in same sex situations." What do you mean you don't "believe in" it? It's not a matter of faith, it exists! I can understand if you don't "understand" it or "identify" with it. I'd even accept the (ridiculous) argument that you don't agree with it or that you think it's wrong. Maybe I'm just arguing semantics here, because this person is clearly wrong in their thinking. It's not a choice, people.