Back to the Grind

Now that I think I'll have all of my random traveling out of the way in the next couple of weeks, I'm 'bout ready to get a meantime-in-between-time job.

Up until now, I've managed to get by without having to work, hoping that I'd get another real job soon enough. But that's not looking to be the case. I've been in a bit of denial, I suppose, about the likelihood of getting the job that I want. I don't know if it's the economy, or if it's just me, or what. Having no dependents to care for or major bills to pay (except for the car) has magnified my not-so-hidden lazy tendencies. I'd rather not even think about it as I'll probably just end up dwelling on the fact that I feel like a big failure.

Part of the reason why I held out for so long on looking for a temporary job is because I thought that not having to do that would keep this period of unemployment on my terms. I left because I wanted to and now I'm going to do something else because I want to. I didn't want to still be not working. I didn't want to have to "settle" for something.

So I'll continue to scrape the barrel for enginerd jobs and go back to my old employer on my knees. But I'll be sitting on my ass making a smidgen of money rather than sitting on my ass spending up the rest of what I've saved. I've been exploring some opportunities that will hopefully bring in some decent pay. Better pay than I would make working at Starbucks or something. I won't have to think too hard. It'll get me back in that 9 to 5 8:30 to 5:30 groove. More on that as the situation develops.

I'm not ready to make that "working for myself" leap. It sounds good in principle, but my heart's just not in it. Or rather, I'm too scared to try and make it work. And I don't really have extra cash to be putting up for it.

Dude, this sucks.