Yearly Archives: 2012

We Are All Awesome! An Alternative Affirmative Action

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An alternative to affirmative action:

Affirmative action is bootstrapping. We’d love to eventually have an organic, natural balance of gender represenation in all roles, but in the meantime, we may need to force the balance. That’s affirmative action.

If you run a conference, you could choose to bootstrap your selection process in this way. However, explicitly setting aside speaker spots for women is bound to start a heated debate about whether affirmative action is fair, and whether it achieves its goals.

Whether you feel affirmative action is unfair or not, the fact is some people percieve it as unfair. There is an alternative: to actively encourage women to submit conference proposals, especially to conferences that have blind selection processes.

The above is from a new site called We Are All Awesome! The site is an initiative to achieve equal gender representation at conferences by aggressively encouraging women to submit themselves to be speakers. The point of the above quote is that begging and waiting for presumably-male organizers to create this balance hasn’t worked and isn’t going to, partly because people are suspicious and critical of the speaker selection process.

Something about equating affirmative action to bootstrapping doesn’t quite sit right with me. I’d like to believe that attaching a polarizing concept – affirmative action – to a concept that conservatives/privileged white males so strongly identify with – bootstrapping – will produce this ooh aah effect. Not gonna happen.

I don’t want to argue semantics, though. Given the systemic inequality, there’s certainly something to be said for taking a different or additional tack towards changing the system with the goal of creating a new normal. I’d call this not Affirmative Action, but an affirmative action of a different stripe. It is indeed a positive step taken to increase the representation of women in an area from which they have been historically excluded, but without any hints of preferential treatment. The change doesn’t come at the point of speaker selection. It comes before that, at the pool of speakers.

Ladies, get over your impostor syndrome and get out there.

Things I Looked Up While Doing My Homework

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The definition of salient. (Just making sure.)

The tyranny of the minority.

The concept of contractarianism as a counter to libertarianism. The article I was reading summarized contractarianism as “fair distribution of resources” (vs the libertarian concept of “basic freedoms”). That’s a bit different from the gist I get from brief reading on social contract theory and libertarianism, which describe them more as mutual consent and responsibility vs voluntary association.

My 2012 30-Day Hot Yoga Challenge: Day 21, Laser Spatulas and Ogling

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As of Day 11 I was finding this challenge way easier than anticipated. I tried not to have any expectations, but I was also sort of expecting it to be difficult. Then I had two really rough classes in a row.

There are clearly changes from day to day with how well I’ve eaten and hydrated. Usually what I’ve done is good enough. But the studio I go to on the weekend has such a different feel from the one I go to during the week that I can’t fully tease out what it is about my weekday vs weekend eating/hydrating habits plus the atmosphere of the studio (literally and figuratively) that makes such a difference.

But I do what I can every day and try to let it go. I’ve become more likely to sit out a set here and there, like I need to pace myself. This actually feels healthier, mentally. I’m not fighting with myself. Trying to talk myself out of taking a knee is not meditative.

One of the things I like about bikram yoga is that, even though it’s the same exact series of postures every time, you hear something different in the dialogue every time. Each teacher has their own insights. Or one day the exact same words they’ve been saying all along suddenly have new meaning to you. I’ve heard many different metaphors for how to think about getting various body parts to do various things. In a few poses, you have to hold your arms and hands completely straight, with all five fingers together, thumbs next to your index fingers. One teacher says “like little spatulas.” Another teacher pointed out that you’re sending energy in the direction your hands are pointing, so I imagined lasers coming out of my hands. Now, mostly during awkward pose and blowing in firm pose, I look at my hands and think of *pew*pew*pew* spatulas.

I was in the lobby after class at my favorite studio one day this past week. A guy had come in to pick his wife up. Another guy who had just finished class was there. The woman mentioned that she’d been trying to get her husband to come. After Class Guy talked about various things he liked about it. And then he says “plus you get to look at all these flexible women.” I raised my eyebrows, finished putting my shoes and socks on, and headed out the door… and spent the whole drive back to work chewing the guy out for saying such a thing. Eye candy might be something he gets out of going to class, and if he really wants to share it with his buddies he can do that, but plainly stating that you are objectifying the women you’re practicing with while you’re standing there in the studio in front of them is not the best choice. Plus, seriously, if you have free brain cycles during class time to think about that, you’re doing it wrong. I really wish I had said something to him.

My 2012 30-Day Hot Yoga Challenge: Day 11

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Garurasana: Eagle Pose

Garurasana: Eagle Pose

I’m trying really hard not to dwell on what’s past and to not think too far ahead. But I’ve had fleeting thoughts about how 30 days is totally doable and maybe I could do more. I’m not making any promises or changes to the game plan. I’m relieved that I’m not panicking or wanting to quit at this point.

While every class is different regardless of how often you go, I’ve found that a daily class has really pushed me mentally towards truly accepting each day as it is and not dwelling on it. If I have more to give, I give it. If I don’t, I just don’t and I let it go. That was advice given to me when I started asking around about doing a challenge. Now I’m actually feeling it. The woman that gave me that advice did her 95th class of her 100-day challenge today.

She also advised me to plan my classes out just a bit at a time. Planning just a week out is working well. Putting classes on both home and work calendars is helpful and motivating. Fortunately, I have day time hours to spend so I’ve been getting my classes in even when my evenings are booked. Going forward, I’m going to keep with the day time classes as much as possible, even if my evenings are free. I like being able to get them over and done with and also not have to worry about managing my food and water that much longer. Plus it makes for a nice break in the day and I get more done at work when I return.

I still have problems with feeling competitive with people, which I really need to get over, for real for serious. Everyone’s anatomy, ability, and inclination are so different, it’s ludicrous for me to compare myself to other people, but I do. The only benefit in looking at what anyone else is doing is if I’m specifically looking for someone to demonstrate the correct way to do a pose.

I’m really grateful that I have access to laundry on a daily basis. It feels wasteful, but you can’t not do the yoga laundry every day, unless maybe it were summer and I could dry the mat outside. If I could at least let the mat air out, I could rotate two sets of clothes and towels and maybe even another mat. Then I could just wash every other day. But it’s in the single digits here in Minnesota. I’m-a have to work on that one.

It’s kinda weird to take a totally short utilitarian shower most days. I have new appreciation for the space in my own shower, the smells of my regular products, not being rushed, and having time and space for miscellaneous grooming. The number one pitfall of post-class showering in the studio is that I haven’t stopped sweating yet but I have to get dressed in my work duds anyway. In the summer, the heat prolongs my still-sweating period. In the winter I have long underwear and multiple layers to contend with. #firstworldproblems, I know.

Going into this challenge, I didn’t have any goals other than to do the 30 days. There are things that are going to happen that I just can’t know ahead of time. I know my weight just because I weigh myself every day anyway (yeah, I know). No changes there so far. I didn’t measure any inches. I feel like my pants are fitting a little differently, but it could just be that I haven’t washed any of my jeans in a while so they’re all loose.

I think my hips are very gradually opening up. A little. That’s a difficult process. Those are big joints with strong muscles and tissues around them. I’ve noticed some progress in getting my toes wrapped in eagle pose. I never thought that would happen, so that’s encouraging. I had blamed this inability to get my toes wrapped around my shin on my thick thighs but I think it’s much more a matter of my hip joints moving. It’s all about the angles. Eagle pose toes has emerged as my one pose-specific hope for this challenge.

My 2012 30-Day Hot Yoga Challenge: Day 6, Miscellaneous Thoughts, and Some Advice

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I named a 30-day hot yoga challenge as a goal for 2012. I didn’t want to start January 1 as I had some scheduling conflicts. And I was afraid. Too soon! Missy had to have a chat with me about external validation. I fretted over whether I could formally complete a 30-day challenge because I’d have to split my time between studios. Rightly, she reminded me it’s not about getting your name on a wall somewhere.

I started going this week as I was able to see how it felt and when I hit Day 5, I declared the challenge underway.

The only parameter is that I do 30 hot yoga classes in 30 days since that’s my primary practice. I’m not confining it to 90-minute bikram class. I’m open to doing doubles (i.e., two classes in one day) if my schedule absolutely prohibits me from attending one day. But I’m not planning for doubles. The whole point of the challenge is to make space for your practice every day. This is the first thing my favorite studio director said when I mentioned to her that I was thinking about doing a challenge.

For a couple months in the fall I was exclusively practicing a 60-minute hot hatha class that my favorite studio offers. This class starts with sun salutations instead of pranayama breathing and contains a lot more hip opening poses. When I returned to 90-minute bikram I found I could do a number of things in poses that I couldn’t do before or that were much more difficult before. Empirical evidence for cross-training! That was a delightful discovery.

My practice during this challenge will be a combo of these two classes plus a 75-minute class that’s an abbreviated version of the bikram series (two sets through the standing series, one set through the floor series). Which one I do in a day is strictly based on what is being offered at the time of day I am free to go to class.

Other, miscellany:

  • Two months of measuring my water intake via Health Month has resulted in a new normal of much higher water consumption. Daily yoga not only requires this, it actually helps me to me to keep it up. I don’t feel at all like I’m forcing it.
  • Keeping adequately fueled for daily yoga is making me pay more attention to my eating choices. I’m trying to make sure I eat enough and not sending my metabolism into starvation mode.
  • Predictably, the earlier in the day, the less flexible I am. I can feel the difference just between a 9:30 class and a noon class. This is frustrating because it makes it hard to judge progress in a pose, but I need to get in the habit of just observing it and letting it go. It doesn’t matter how it went as much as it matters that it happened. At least for the purposes of this challenge.
  • Keeping hydrated and fueled for yoga for a morning class, a noon class, and an evening class are three different things. I find the noon class to be the sweet spot between food/water prep and allowing my body to wake up and loosen up.
  • I worry about getting bored.
  • I worry about fatigue.
  • I worry about public failure.
  • I worry about not making any progress in my practice, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary I’ve described so far and more.
  • I have this back and forth with myself over whether it’s better to wear a shirt or just a bra top. Either is comfortable. The question is my attention. With just a bra top on, I spend time admiring my own abs. I’ll totally cop to that. At the same time, it’s easier to see alignment on some poses (like half moon). And it’s easier to notice when I’m not sucking in my gut like I’m supposed to (like standing head to knee or awkward pose).

I got new Lululemon shorts recently. I love them. Like, <3 them. They’re lighter than my Tonic shorts (which I also love, and which I can’t show you because Tonic’s website is not helpful that way). They stay over my butt even without a drawstring! I once bought a pair of shorts that seemed like they would and then they didn’t. I can’t be hiking my shorts up all through class.

If you’re going to invest in one piece of special hot yoga gear, it should actually be your matt/towel situation. But if you’re going to invest in a second piece of gear, get hot yoga shorts or pants. Whatever floats your boat whether it’s boyshorts or capris or something in between. I find they make the biggest difference in comfort. Wearing shorts that scrunch and bunch is highly distracting. You can get away with a variety of tops, since they just need to cover you up, not hold you down the way you’d need if you were bouncing. Performance gear does help combat the stinkies, but you sweat so much you really sweat out the worst of the stink-inducing bacteria. Think about how you smell after a really hard workout; you (and your clothes) don’t smell half that bad after a hot yoga class, even if the yoga room does a little.

So, yeah, 6 days in. So far so good.

My Letter to the Eden Prairie City Council in Favor of a Domestic Partner Registry

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I just got an alert from Outfront Minnesota that the city of Eden Prairie, a suburb of Minneapolis in which we have lived and in which I have worked for 8 years, is considering a domestic partnership registry. I sent this message to the mayor and three city councilmembers. I sent a slightly modified version to the one city councilmember who is clearly opposed.

[Mayor/Councilmember],

I’m so pleased to hear that the city of Eden Prairie has proposed a domestic partner registry! My partner and I lived in EP for three years. We now live in Minneapolis, but we do still own a house in EP (on which we pay taxes) and I work in EP.

I just read the Eden Prairie News article re: the January 5 city council meeting. I’m very pleased to hear that the city attorney and city manager could answer some of Councilmember Aho’s concerns. There are a few more I would like to address.

As you know gay marriage is already illegal in the state of Minnesota. Regardless of whether the people of Minnesota vote to enshrine bigotry into our constitution this coming November, gay marriage will still be illegal in Minnesota.

More and more Minnesota cities are creating domestic partner registries. Eden Prairie is not exactly leading on this, but would still be far far ahead of most cities. There was so much pride and enthusiasm when EP was named CNN Money’s Best Place to Live in America in 2010. This can only add another positive to the list of reasons why.

The following reason is the most impactful to me: The primary benefit of a registered domestic partnership, at this point in time, is for a person in a DP to take advantage of DP benefits offered by their employer. A private employer. My employer, [redacted], while it was owned by [redacted] and now as it is owned by [redacted], offers such benefits and requires documentation for them. Luckily we did not need them during the time we lived in EP because my partner is adequately insured by her employer. If we had needed any of those benefits, I would not have had access to them because we couldn’t have registered anywhere. This did play a small part in our choice to subsequently move to Minneapolis.

Regarding the concern that people may attempt to mis-represent the state of their relationship in order to register, I’ll suggest that it’s analogous to voter fraud in that there isn’t actually a problem there. Not to mention that people – straight and gay – do get legally married when they are truly desperate for access to health care regardless of the actual state of their relationship with the person they’re marrying.

Lastly, the absence of a DP registry in Eden Prairie does adversely affect some residents. Enacting a DP registry does not adversely affect any residents.

Thank you for your support of a domestic partnership registry for Eden Prairie thus far.

Erica Mauter (formerly of [address redacted])

#resound11 – Dec 31: One Word

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12/31: One Word Earlier this month, we wrote about our one word to describe 2011. Today, let’s write about our one word for 2012. What word do you want to use to describe how you will approach 2012? Will it be awesome? Will it be frugal? Will it be open? Will it be the year of yes? What is your 2012? (#)

The word for 2012 is Believe.

The way to get what you want and what is right for you is to define your dream, get a burning desire for it, and to wholly Believe, 100%, that it will happen.

There are things that I know are coming. There are things I want to change but don’t know how to change or don’t know what to change to. Things will happen that I won’t expect. It’s going to be a challenging year. I have to Believe I can handle whatever comes my way.

As an Enneagram Type Six, one of my characteristic personality traits is a crisis of self-confidence. A healthy dose of Belief will help me level up.

I want Missy and I to do a little retreat and really dig into what we want for ourselves, both short- and long-term. I want us to dream big without fear. Without getting bogged down in details. I want us to imagine our awesome future, and wholly Believe, 100%, that it will happen.

#resound11 – Dec 30: Future Self

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12/30: Future Self Today, write a letter to your future self to read on 12/30/12. Write about what you have accomplished. Write about who you are and who you have become. Write a wishlist. Is writing a letter to yourself too cheesy? Write about how you would like your life to be different than it is now at this time next year. Or write about what you would like to have stay the same. (#)

So I said to myself, “Self…”

You’re a chunk of the way through your masters degree. You are comfortable with where you are in your career pivot process. You’ve connected with some amazing leaders who inspire you. You’ve deepened your connections with the ones you already know. You are owning and embracing your power. You’re feeling like you can make a difference and enjoy it at the same time.

You’ve taken care of yourself physically. You feel good about inhabiting the body you have.

You got that meditation practice going and it has made all the difference in the world. You’re grateful for having a partner and friends to show you the way on this. You should be proud of yourself for becoming open to it the way you did and grateful for the gifts you’ve received from it.

All this contentment and happiness has enabled you to be available for and supportive of your family. Your wife. Your sister. Your parents. Your dog. They all loved you already, of course. They have their own stuff and their own processes and your being a part of that is important.

You’ve done some things you weren’t even expecting. Tell me about those.

#resound11 – Dec 29: Let Go

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12/29: Let Go Letting go can be hard. We get comfortable in our current situation. We have a tendency to repeat the same behaviors and patterns even when we know they are not in our best interest. Sometimes we hold on to relationships, dreams, feelings, or stuff just because we can’t let go. But letting go sometimes is what we need to do. What did you let go of in 2011? What was the experience like? How is your life different today? Do you ever regret it? If not, is there something that you need to let go of in 2012? What scares you about that possibility? What situation do you need to create for that to happen? (#)

Over the course of 2011, as my pending last day at my current job became a real thing (as opposed to a nebulous goal I’ve been awaiting for four years), I have been gradually shedding my identity as an engineer. Somewhat consciously, somewhat unconsciously. I’ve worn that label proudly since college. There are definitely aspects of my personality and abilities that match whatever your conception of an engineer is.

But there’s a big difference between spending your time doing something you happen to be good at and doing something that you actually enjoy. There’s an even bigger difference between what you do and who you are. The evolution is not about what I’m doing instead; it’s about how I think about myself. Engineering is what I do, not who I am. Soon it’s not even going to be what I do anymore. (In fact, it hardly is now, but it’s in my title.)

This process of changing how I think about myself has been somewhat deliberate. A year ago during #reverb10 I talked about conscious being my one word for 2011. I said that in the context of decision-making. The side effect was that I did a lot of reading and practicing thinking about life and the world differently. This re-definition of my self-image has been a welcome side effect. As a result, it’s not so scary. It’s personal growth. And it’s still ongoing.

#resound11 – Dec 28: Five Things

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12/28: Five Things Take today to jot down five memories that you would like to never forget about 2011. Try to write about five things you haven’t shared yet, but if you need to repeat, that’s OK! (#)

In no particular order…

#nerdwedding11 It is extremely rare to get so much of the fam – so many of my favorite people – in one place at one time. And for the express purpose of fun and celebration, to boot? It doesn’t get better than that.

Presenting at SXSW Interactive. This conference has meant a lot of things to me. Achieving this mode of participation, giving a good presentation, knowing that people who attended got something out of it, and presenting as part of a crazy smart and talented group which made for an amazing overall block of content was highly fulfilling. I think I’ve only done one thing at my day job that I am more proud of, professionally speaking.

The Lynx winning the WNBA championship in Atlanta. I’ve experienced sports team championships before, but never so closely. Always on tv, removed in some way. Never having been so personally invested. It wasn’t a case of being proud of what the team represented (something that I identity/affiliate with is successful), but I was actually proud of the team. The players, the coaches, the staff. All people I’ve met and had conversations with. I celebrated with other people (my fellow season ticket holders) who made a similar investment. I haven’t had a scream-your-head-off jump-up-and-down exciting moment like that in a long time.

My grandma’s smile. Missy and I (and Peanut) visited my family in Detroit in July. Grandma had been in the hospital for a couple months at that point, and we were thinking if we were going to see her again we’d best get down there sooner rather than later. We stopped by the hospital a few times over the long weekend. Grandma certainly wasn’t functioning as well as she used to, but her spirit and sense of humor were still firmly intact. At one point we walked out of her hospital room to leave. I looked back, and she looked at me and smiled and gave a little wave, and I knew that that was gonna be my “last moment with grandma” image. We may have even seen her again, sleeping, after that, but that’s what I remember. We road tripped for that visit. As it turned out, we flew back three weeks later for grandma’s funeral.

Grad school info session. I was totally surprised to leave St. Kate’s campus feeling so excited and so sure that their MAOL program was exactly what I wanted to do next. I’ve known for a long time I’m ready to do something different professionally, but I had no clue as to what that would be. I’m still not positive, but this feels like a good next step. Not only will it be completely different from my undergraduate experience, I’m confident that I’m at a place in life where I’m ready to receive what this program has to offer, I’m ready to do the work that it will require, and I have things to offer my classmates.