Monthly Archives: October 2011

Opting Out of the Old Me

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Via Garrick Van Buren comes a total gut punch of a story.

I may have left my old job behind in December, but I took my old habits with me.

When I had to sit in an office all day, I developed coping mechanisms. As I’m a late riser and night worker, I’d spend the first hour or two of each morning just trying to force my brain awake so I could start being productive. This involved visiting news sites, reading my RSS feeds, downing enough coffee to dispatch a small elephant and generally killing time until I either had to do something time-sensitive or felt like my brain was present enough to start writing an actual article.

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These days, I set my own hours. If I feel like working early (say, noonish), I work early. If I feel like getting groceries and working out and making a nice dinner during the day and then working until the wee hours, I do that. I don’t have a set schedule, I have a schedule regulated by necessity and efficiency. I work when I feel I’m most productive. As for email, it’s no longer a flood but a manageable trickle.

And yet, I still won’t answer some messages for days, though they require minimum effort on my part. Worse still, I find myself spending significant parts of my day visiting news sites, reading my RSS feeds, drinking coffee and energy drinks and generally killing time. Except now it’s my time that I’m wasting, not an employer’s, and I’m the only one losing out.

As I prepare to transition from my current job that I am no longer aligned with to a new phase of life which is starting to shape, I’ve been doing a lot of reading and listening on the topics of figuring out what you want and how to get it. Mostly from the standpoint of re-programming my thinking.

I’ve gotten to a point where I just want to be happy. There are lots of things that I’m really happy with. And some things that I could do better on. But I know a lot of the work on improving happiness is simply re-programming my mindset.

So I read the above and of all the things I’ve read, it resonated so strongly I couldn’t do anything but sit there for a while and read it over and over. It completely captures my current state. That is so me, you guys.

I’ve said that one thing I’m looking forward to about being a full time grad student is the opportunity to re-create my day in a way that is more fulfilling. Missy pointed out that I could incorporate some aspects now, simply by getting up earlier. She’s right. I completely acknowledge that making a habit out of getting up earlier to set up my day with some quiet time would have some benefit right now. Missy has made a habit of it. I’m not there. I don’t want to get up earlier. I want to re-purpose the 9 hours of my day that are taken up by work and commuting. Or I want the freedom to get done what I need to, go to bed when I’m ready, and get up when I’m rested. Maybe somewhere down the line I end up getting up earlier for it.

Regardless, new habits are in definitely in order. Time to change from “I want new habits” to “I choose to have new habits.”

Projects I’d Like to Work On

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… that I figure I’ll never really have the time for and hence are probably not actually that important but still seem interesting nonetheless. This is just the techie stuff.

Set up a Google Apps account as if I were actually administering a group. Except that I don’t really have a need for any of these functions except email. Although I did just use Google Apps to set up Analytics and Feedburner for a client, so I guess that mission is accomplished enough for now.

Get all my sites on one WordPress multisite install. This would probably be the most useful. Upon further research, I don’t think I want my sites, big as they are, in the same database. However I have been considering some freelance work that could involve managing a number of very small sites. Seems like a network setup could be useful to manage that.

Figure out WordPress post formats so that I can import my tumblr data with complete integrity. I may just need to wait a little longer for more post-format-friendly themes to come out. Or, it’s looking more likely that a much better way to manage this (i.e., a consistent admin UI) will be incorporated into the WordPress core before too long. I don’t want to invest time rolling my own solution or trusting the avenue a theme developer chooses to take if a change to the WordPress core could compromise that and negate my efforts.

At least figure out the WordPress asides and/or links post formats. I have a ton of links posts. The ones I created in WordPress have one format. The ones I created way back in the Movable Type days have different formatting and were set up at the time to work exactly like I want links/asides to act today. I’d have to get the formatting figured out. I’d have to do a heckuva a lot of post editing; some of it can probably be done in the database but there is serious potential to royally F that up. I need a virtual assistant or mechanical turk or something. This one would probably give me the most satisfaction. But the same caveats as above do apply. Maybe I could try it just with links/asides going forward, and then I’d have less stuff that requires fixing should anything change substantially.

Figure out the best way to serve an annual archive for years I select without any of the month/week/day archives from those years and exclude those years from the category/tag archvies. This one would probably give me the most peace of mind. I keep having this fantasy of blowing up the site and starting fresh. It’s not off the table, but I enjoy the street cred I get from archives dating back to 2002. Maybe what I need is just for them to not be especially visible to me, personally, as I look at the page.

Consider Volunteering

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Back in April I stepped down from one of my nonprofit board service commitments. I was immediately asked to consider volunteering with another nonprofit. Which is all very cool because I’m a big fan of the organization and I adore the executive director, whom I know from the commitment I had just given up.

It struck me that I was asked to volunteer in a very different capacity than if I had been some person off the street who had expressed interest but a) did not have the experience I have and b) did not have such connections. That was a revelation to me. I do have the experience. I have made the connections.

I know this is what happens when you grow up. And when you say “yes” when people ask. I’ve been noticing a lot lately how things happen for me differently at this time in my life versus, say, five years ago. I can look back and clearly see how I’ve leveled up. My early 30s have been outstanding.

And I’ve been able to make things happen for other people, to boot. I like this feeling of accomplishment, but I like even more to pay it forward.

I’m a grown ass woman.

Marriage Equality, Equal vs Fundamental

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I’m late to really grokking this argument, but stating that marriage is a “fundamental right” does not go far enough to explain the importance of marriage equality. How is it a fundamental right? What is fundamental about it? It’s about personhood and agency. You have to include that part about why it’s fundamental, otherwise it sounds arbitrary, especially to folks who don’t immediately draw that same conclusion. And, frankly, there are probably plenty of supporters who consider it a fundamental right, but don’t really know why.

Equal rights and fundamental rights are two different (though related) things.

My Introduction to the Enneagram Personality System

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Since I’ve been back on an Enneagram kick, I signed up for a daily “EnneaThought” email. I get a sentence or two designed to make me think about how I’m behaving and teach me more about all the aspects of my specific personality type (I’m a Six).

When a daily email particularly resonates with me, I’ve been sharing it on Google+. I’ve shared it enough and had enough conversations about concepts and resources that I decided to include some stock language every time I post about the Enneagram, or at least every time I post my daily EnneaThought. This is inspired by Chris Penn‘s daily social media posting of his Welcome aboard! page so his new followers can get to know him better.

My intro to the Enneagram looks like this:

What I like about the Enneagram Personality System is it examines your motivations – the root cause of your behaviors, not just the symptoms. I had some real eye-opening, a-ha moments learning about my own Type Six personality. It gives you a path to personal growth. You can take it as simply or complex as you want to.

Read more about how the Enneagram works here: http://swirlspice.com/go/enneagramintro/

Determine your Enneagram personality type here: http://swirlspice.com/go/enneagramtests/ The free RHETI sampler is a good start if you want to do some extra reading about the types to solidify your understanding of the results. If you want it to just tell you, take the full RHETI test for $10.

The Enneagram book I recommend starting with is Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery http://swirlspice.com/go/enneagrambook/