I was trying to avoid just complaining about stupid shit, but I’ll really feel better if I just get this over with instead of trying to ignore it or make it witty and interesting to read about because it’s not. It also makes me feel much better to cuss (Margaret inspired me yesterday).
- The weather fucking sucks. What the hell? It’s 30 degrees out and all kind of rain/snow/freezing drizzle/sleet is coming down. (I think every Minnesotan I know is able to thoroughly explain all local weather phenomena, including the distinction between sleet and freezing rain.)
- My aunt (Hoss) is a stupid cunt. I tried to convince myself that she’s just lacking in social skills and perspective and I should really pity her instead, but I just hate her. She calls today, acts surprised that I’m “still around” and then says stupid shit like “well you’re not in a hurry to get out of here, right?” Yeah, I spent $75,000 on this damn degree so I could sit around in my parents’ house and do nothing all damn day but try to avoid your fucking phone calls and unannounced visits.
- I want this damn ailment to go away. Every time I swallow it feels like someone’s poking my throat with a needle from the inside. On top of that, my left ear has a tendency to plug up (shut up, my ear is waxy, alright?), so when I wake up in the middle of the night from the coughing, I can’t half hear either, causing me to tug and tug on it to try to get it to pop. But this has aggravated it to the point that if feels like my ear drum is gonna blow out of my head every time I blow my nose which is running like motherfucker.
- I feel like some kind of meaningful personal insight is rumbling around in my head and it Won’t. Come. Out.
- My sister’s having potential car issues which probably aren’t all that bad, but my mom’s worked herself into an ulcer over it and is ready to send me up to East Lansing with a U-Haul trailer so I can tow the car home because apparently only Tony can fix it.
- Then my dad pulled his hovering out of sight while I eavesdrop on you like a big pussy but if you call me on it I’ll just feign concern bullshit the last time Emily called home because if he really was concerned, he would have asked me about it when I hung up the phone…
- …instead of slinking off to the fucking fish fry to get himself some dinner without asking anybody if they wanted anything. His excuse: he saw mom throwing back Mylanta and assumed she wouldn’t want anything. Say it with me: When you assume you make an ass out of you and… nah, just you.
- But why does mom have to specifiy which flavor of Mylanta she wants when she sends me to the fridge to get it? Who has a fucking Mylanta variety pack in their fridge?
