A California man found that $900 billion or some such insane amount of money had been accidentally (electronically) deposited into his bank account. That’s better than winning the lottery. I have no idea what I would do with $900 billion. I don’t think I could spend $1 billion. I can’t even comprehend how much money that is. I can, however, plow right through $1 million. Here’s what I would do with it, assuming this is a post-tax, lump-sum figure.
First, I’d pay off all my and my immediate family’s non-mortgage debt. I’m guesstimating this debt – good, bad, and otherwise – to be about $100,000. Remaining: $900,000.
Next I’d buy some houses. They don’t have to be super huge. Definitely in decent cities. Say $400,000 each. One on the east coast, one on the west coast. For tax purposes, I’d make fat down payments but still take out a mortgages. Let’s say this whole process costs me $200,000 up front. Remaining: $700,000.
Next I’d organize an all-expenses-paid shebang for my iVillage peeps. Everyone could finally get to meet everyone else face to face. One week. Somewhere tropical. Transportation. Lodging. Entertainment. Field trips. Party baskets. Child care. Lots of liquor. Karaoke. (Liquor, then karaoke, in that order.) (And that’s care-ee-yo-kee, not kuh-row-kee you Minnesotans.) I’ll put it at $50,000. Remaining: $650,000.
Next is my round-the-world year-long trip. I think I could do it comfortably for $50,000. Remaining: $600,000.
That’s all the splurging I could handle, I think. I’d give some money to my alma maters (maybe I’ll get a tree stump or a some used football pants named after me), some to public radio, some to some GLBT organizations (think outreach and community centers), some to breast cancer research, and I’d reserve some for some as-yet-to-be-determined equally worthy causes (probably depending on what plights my friends and family are going through at the time), for a grand total of $100,000. Remaining: $500,000.
The rest funds my retirement accounts, various investment vehicles (including real estate), and my liquid cash horde. I do still have to make payments on those houses and, like, eat and stuff.
Not such a wild and crazy plan, but it’s a plan nonetheless. Best to be prepared, donchya know? What would you do with a million dollars?
