I’m fairly certain I had an aborted attempt to fill this out five six-ish years ago (thinking I was perhaps inspired by this guy). I got overwhelmed. If you could see the unpublished drafts behind the scenes here chronicling not-insignificant life events, you’d know that this is common.
But since Tiffany, Cecily, and Jason did it, I figured I’d give it a whirl and be in good company.
And also, I first drafted this post on Aug 31, 2009. It’s June 15, 2010.
The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. Here is the basic Proust Questionnaire.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Having all your needs met.
2. What is your greatest fear?
The one I think about most is financial insecurity.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Procrastination and the associated unreliability.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Bullshitting.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
I don’t have a specific person, honestly. A trait that I deeply admire is the ability to live comfortably in one’s own skin, and to own it and leverage it to do great things.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
I tend to spend money on things to improve my health and impact on the earth without actually making real lifestyle changes.
7. What is your current state of mind?
A tizzy! So many great things falling into place, but so much change associated with them.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Industriousness. We as a society place value on hard work for the sake of working hard and demonize people we perceive as lazy. Smarter, not harder, people.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
When uncertainty causes me fear that I feel on a physical level.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
That mole on my cheek which come to find out was actually a little fatty tumor and which is no longer there. I’ve been meaning to do that for something like 6 years.
11. Which living person do you most despise?
I don’t actually know personally (or regularly encounter) anyone that I dislike so much. It seems pointless to pick some known murderous dictator simply for the sake of answering the question.
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Awareness of his privilege.
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Conviction (backed up with appropriate knowledge).
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“like” “you know” “um” “whatever” etc.
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My wife Missy, aka M™. In that way that you can’t know until it happens to you. At first I attributed it to the many things we have in common, but I’m learning how it’s also because we are complementary in the right ways.
16. When and where were you happiest?
There are different points along the life path. High school graduation, shared with friends, felt like a significant milestone. I’ve had moments of bliss on a dance floor, shared with friends. I’ve had moments of bliss on foreign ground, alone, reveling in my accomplishment of having made it there in the first place. I’ve had many moments of bliss in choirs, singing with friends (I knew and have been told that while singing is when I’m closest to my higher power as I know it). My wedding day was most significant in that I could share the aforementioned love of my life with my family and most-treasured friends.
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to speak in a public setting while feeling at ease, putting people at ease, entertaining, and using those powers for good to convey an important message or accomplish a lofty goal.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Needing less certainty. You can be planful and structured (part of my nature) without being attached to outcomes.
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I’ve developed and matured to the point where I feel I bring the best expression of myself (so far) to my relationship with Missy.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Probably something like a ruler or sling psychrometer or some kind of very analytical tool.
21. Where would you most like to live?
I don’t even know anymore. I really don’t. I have reason to believe I’ll get to see all the places I want to see, and it won’t really matter where I come home to. I would like to spend an extended period of time in some foreign land at some point. My itch to move has waned significantly recently. So I guess the answer is: Minneapolis.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
My intellect. I would say Missy, but she’s not a possession.
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Lack of love. Loneliness.
24. What is your favorite occupation?
If I knew, I’d be doing it.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
I am SUCH an engineer. I really am.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
Knowledge. Exposure to many different things, and the ability to grasp and explain it all. Being experts in their chosen areas of interest.
27. Who are your favorite writers?
Related to what I value most in my friends, since many of them are bloggers, I love reading what they share about what they know and their experience of the world. Always insightful.
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Xena!
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
My command of history is weak. Someone who really intrigues me, though, is Eleanor Roosevelt.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
- I once had a conversation with my mom’s BFF, at a point when mom and I weren’t communicating much. I was really focused on all these things I thought my mom had done wrong and should do differently, and she re-framed it for me in such a way that showed me all the things my mom had done right and was doing well. I’ve looked at my mom differently ever since.
- I’ve watched Missy really change and grow in the 3+ years we’ve been together. It’s been a deliberate process for her, and there are lessons we could all learn from that. I read about personal growth; she’s actually doing it.
- I’ve watched The Boyz really grow as partners in the 12 years I’ve known T and the 10 years I’ve known B. They have developed as a pair, grown a fantastic business, and created a work-hard/play-hard life for themselves that they are in total control of. They live and work well together. I want that for me and Missy.
