I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what to do next. Where to go next. I’m restless.
So my job, which I took just for the sake of having a job, and which I had hoped would springboard into other opportunities with this company, has been a big letdown so far. Hours suck. Pay’s okay, but not great. The position in another department that I inquired about – where I was told that I’m not even eligible for consideration until I’ve been in my department full-time for 6 months – they just hired three new people for. Fresh out of school. With one internship apiece. Where is the justice?
The only redeeming value thus far has been the people I work with. They drive me nuts, but they’re pleasant enough to be around. Except I found out yesterday that Problem Boy is quitting. And Dirty Clown is switching over to day shift. The fun people are going away. I have nobody left to entertain me.
Instigator and Lazy Overachiever are okay. But they’re not fun. They’re just bitchy. Biddies. And something about women in their 40s and 50s acting like teenage girls is offputting. The most fun they get is borderline sexually harrassing the younger guys. Dirty Clown is 40-ish and his acting like a teenage boy is totally different. He’s silly. With the guys, we play at work. I spent half the night last night wearing a diaper made out of a plastic bag. With the women it’s gossip all the time.
So, the only enjoyable part of the job is vanishing.
I’ve been half-ass looking. Monitoring what’s out there, not so much pursuing anything. Time to start picking up the phone and firing up the email. I’m still struggling with “I know I can do better in this field” vs “I still don’t really want to be in this field.”
I go through this every time I go somewhere and have a good time and come home only to be thoroughly let down by the blahness of daily life.
Moving back to Minnesota four months ago was a change. And then there were the holidays to keep me occupied. And now we’re heading into the worst part of the winter. You’ve had a couple months of cold and you’re ready for it to start warming up a little, but it’s gonna stay this cold for 2 solid months. At least. I don’t know if February is worst just for sheer cruddiness, or if March is worst because you can’t help but have (false) hope for better weather.
I’m sure this totally has everything to do with the weather. Damn winter. *shakes fist*
