Again With The Roommate

07 Nov 2003 By

He’s working from home today. He likes to talk and sing to himself a lot.

He just went to the bathroom (upstairs and at the opposite end of the house from me). With the door opened. And totally farted while he was peeing.

I realize this is a normal, natural, and even frequent experience. But I liked it better when it was a hypothetical scenario.

Also related: At some point while I was not home, he used my bathroom downstairs (presumably while doing laundry since the laundry room is right next to it) and left the seat up.

I just had the most disgusting thought. I wonder if he makes as much noise eating pussy as he does while eating dinner?

EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

  • http://www.contractorpeon.com/blog glenn

    Getting graphic aren’t we know :-D

    I had to comment on the pussy eating thing. Does your roommate smack? Personally I don’t know of any correlation between smacking your food and smacking the pussy. I believe proper technique is lots of tongue action which results in LESS smacking.

    Of course if your rommate lacks proper eating etiquette he might also as well lack proper…well…EATING etiquette :-D

    I’m so witty :-)

  • http://www.contractorpeon.com/blog glenn

    that reminds me of a story that my gf told me about one of her old roommates.

    Girl X, that’s what we’ll call her, had it out for one of her old rommates. So she taped her and her boyfriend having loud sex in the bathroom and played it over the phone for her parents. She got in trouble with Student Judicial Affairs for that one :-D

  • http://www.highlymoody.com mel

    I’ve never once made the correlation between pussy eating and food smacking. hrm

  • http://www.swirlspice.com Erica

    I had a loud sex issue with my last roommate. I was tempted to record them for inopportune playback purposes, but that meant I’d actually have to record them and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

    The current roommate totally smacks while he eats. But it’s not that “I just open my mouth wide” smacking. It’s that “I’m vigorously mashing everything with my tongue” smacking. He’s got an ex-girlfriend who’s still clinging and I think he throws her a bone (ba DUM bum) every once in a while. I think she’s too stupid to know if he’s good or not, though. Fuckin’ airhead. And just as dirty as he is.

  • http://liminalmusings.blogspot.com/ Deirdre

    That’s just… lovely. …disturbing. …something I don’t want to think about.

    *wash my brain* *wash my brain* *wash my brain*

    I had a loud-sex neighbor in the dorms. It was disturbing. The walls were thin and my bed was perpendicular to hers and … well, there was bumping too. She was Spanish and I thought the Europeaness had something to do with the noise because my all-American roommate always had quiet sex in the room (quiet but visible were one to awaken an inopportune moment).

    *more brain washing* *more brain washing* *leaves falling* *puppies barking* *brain washing*

  • http://nora.heathens.co.nz/ Nora

    There was some surprisingly loud banging (as in noise) coming (as in…oh, never mind) from the floor above my dorm room one year. Apparently it was audible in more than just my room. I finally complained to my RA, who went upstairs to ask the culprit to tone it down. He was a little shocked to discover the source of the banging was a petite Asian fellow; although the RA managed to make the banging stop, he didn’t know whether to congratulate or feel sorry for the object of this guy’s affection. Yeesh.

  • http://thewatergirl.blogspot.com the watergirl

    the roommate i used to hook up with is currently not so much having loud sex, but having loud mattress during sex … it’s really something i didn’t need to hear, especially considering we were the ones fooling around in there about a month ago (not doing *that* thank god, as my roommate is apparently a big ol’ man-whore) … anyway, my plan is to present him with a big can of wd-40 in front of his girlfriend. heh.

  • http://swerlspice.blogspot.com Em

    My upstairs assholes/neighbors engage in loud sex. Whoever lives in the room above my roommate has the squeakiest mattress ever. My roomie leaves her fan on all the time, no matter how cold it is, to drown out the noise. BUT, one Saturday late afternoon/early evening, we were in the living room watching a movie, and we hear this loud-ass moaning coming from the living room upstairs. Then it stopped. Then it started up again. Then they talked a little. Then it started up again. And on and on. Craziness.

  • http://www.electricvenom.com/oldvenom/003547.php Electric Venom

    The Letter Of The Day Is F

    F is for fantastic applications. F is for fucking unbelievable. F is for fear of falling. F is for fee foes. F is for fares. (Some of which are causing a funky frenzy). F is for… fuckwad. And I’m not talking about Jay. F is for funny! F is for flush….

  • http://minnesotadiva.blogspot.com drc

    Too funny! I didn’t need any of those images in my head!!