Compared to my first couple years of blogging, I’ve clearly slacked way off in quantity of posts. Because, you know, I’m out doing stuff instead of sitting at home all the time. And I’m just not a writer who can crank out quality stuff like that.
I also don’t share as much as I used to. Maybe because I have more things that I consider sacred now. And there’s a lot of inane shit that I figure y’all don’t care about. Filter that mental diarrhea, whatnot. If I’m going to reveal my innermost, I prefer to do it in a way that might be helpful and constructive, not purely cathartic. I have my therapist for cathartic.
I hate the idea of feeling like I have to self-censor because of how someone out there might take whatever they read. It’s probably really silly, especially for as long as I’ve been blogging, to hold onto a sense of anonymity. I still kind of do, but I think it’s fair to say that, in what I have chosen to reveal, I’ve been pretty authentic here.
The problem is that the more you know about who I am, the more you know who the people around me are. Nine times out of ten, when I self-censor, it’s to protect the people around me that I mention here. That’s the part that’s bothering me right now.
This blog and the Twitters and myspace and all that stuff is here for good, not for evil. Come here to read about me. Take what I say at face value. Don’t expect a whole lot more. Don’t try to extrapolate and interpret and figure shit all out. You’re just going to drive yourself nuts.
I have been that person. I know. I totally get it. I can empathize completely. But it’s an exercise in futility. I know it’s damn near impossible not to do it. You might not believe me because — hey! — I didn’t talk about it here when I was going through it. Trying to protect folks around me.
On the flip side, it’s hard to resist the urge to fuck with people. It really is. But ultimately I have far more important things to worry about. I don’t feel threatened (yet). Just annoyed. I’ve resisted posting on this topic for a while. I’ve already said far too much.
Also, it’s late and I’m tired and I’m losing my train of thought. Here’s my point. This space is mine. It’s all about me. You should know that when you click through. If you have beef with me, fine. I’ll deal with it if it’s legitimate and not just misdirected anger. Otherwise, handle your business and leave me out of it.
