Time To Make The Donuts A Decision

25 Aug 2003 By

I’m not particularly excited about that San Diego job. That concerns me. I like that I could be moving to San Diego, but I dread the logistics and expense of it. I like that they were interested in me and it sounds like something I can do, but it doesn’t sound all that enjoyable. Frankly, now that I’m pretty sure I want to give up on the engineer thing, I’m annoyed that this has popped up and is causing me to WhatIf all over the place and hesitate carrying out my contingency plan.

I’ve spent all this time saying “I could do this or I could do that” and I haven’t done a damn thing and now I’m ready to do something and I’m getting held up. I’m supposed to get back with that woman this week and talk about getting down there to interview and check things out. But maybe I’ll just turn it down. I wondered if I had talked myself out of being interested in this kind of job out of frustration with the search. I don’t think I did. I knew I didn’t love it when I was doing it before.


But how perfect is this? My horoscope for today:

You may be asked to make some spontaneous decisions today that you might not feel entirely comfortable making, dear Taurus. It could be that you feel as if you don’t have enough facts to make an educated decision on what to do next. Realize that sometimes it is necessary to just bite the bullet and make the best choice based on the limited knowledge that you have. Be adventurous and trust your judgment.

I’ve already said my dream job is to be a bartender at a resort in the Caribbean. And then I want to retire to Costa Rica and run a bed & breakfast (with its own bar, of course). This does not in any way have anything to do with making cereal or bakery goods or whatever.

I was really only hanging in there for the money. That was truly the entire reason. And my best options so far haven’t offered nearly as much as my last job.

I was told that even if I can’t make everything I want happen the way I want it, it will do wonders for me to have a goal. So even though my chief concern is getting out of my folks’ house and out of Detroit, I think I’ll feel much better if I get my career (such as it is) mentally squared away. Then I can say “I’m gonna stay here, but I want to do XYZ by ABC, so this is what I need to do.”

I think I’m okay with that. I haven’t gotten a job here before now because I was trying to maintain a state of readiness to move. Maybe six months or a year from now I’ll move somewhere where I have friends (which makes it back to Minneapolis, or to Madison). Maybe I’ll put off the giant leap to the west coast for a bit.

So my point here is that, with the small exception of being unsure of what to do about the San Diego job, I’ve decided that I don’t want to be an engineer anymore, and I’m not gonna keep looking.

  • http://www.sketchesofstrain.com/ David Strain

    Go do the interview. At least you’ll get a couple of days in a new place. Do it. What have you got to lose? Come on, Grasshoppa.

    D

  • http://www.dawnpennington.com dawn

    Sounds like you need the change of scenery, on one hand, but on the other, if being a bartender or running a B&B is what you wanna do, then that’s what you need to do. Anything is possible for someone with your charisma and determination. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. :)

  • http://s-train.h2cmedia.org S-Train

    It quite amazing how you really think you want to do something and then suddenly, you don’t. I mean not one of those nagging don’ts that you can point to nerves, but a definative, soul-turning “don’ts”. That’s just how I felt when I was running around wreaking havoc in a gang. I was ready to die, didn’t care what I did to who and what happened to me. Then one morning, I wanted to live. Wanted life so badly I broke down crying. I know my experience was a little more drastic but the same principal applies to you.

    Sometimes the best thing is listening to one’s self.

  • http://www.delirity.com Nicole

    As I’m sure you know, San Diego is expensive. But I’m sure it’s also a great change if you’ve never lived here. Perhaps it’s worth looking into? There is certainly plenty to do around here and lots of people to meet.

  • http://www.swirlspice.com Erica

    I’m thinking this SD thing is gonna work itself out. It’s all gonna boil down to the money. I’m trying to let the realities make themselves apparent (and hoping they support the decision I’ve already mostly made) without talking myself out of it and not giving it a fair chance.