The other day my mom went out to show some houses to this lady, so I watched the daycare kids for the morning. I went upstairs to fix lunch and I couldn’t have been gone for 10 minutes before I hear a commotion. I went back downstairs to find one crying and holding her head, and another in a crib which he could not have climbed into by himself. Turns out that the little girl had been using a nearby table to get into the crib and then jumping out, and she helped the little boy to get into the crib, except he couldn’t get out. Then she climbed from that table onto a half wall and jumped off of that which is when she hit her head. They got in big trouble.
I’m gonna share the cast of characters since their parents will never find them here.
Loriel. The Daredevil. The one that jumped off the furniture. She’s seriously ADD and always getting in trouble. She does all kinds of crazy stuff with not only no fear of getting in trouble, but no fear of getting hurt. Her parents are the “God gave us this Mercedes,” “we are strong black people,” “we’re gonna discipline the heck out of our kids and hope they comply and we refuse to admit that there might be something that’s wrong beyond our control” type.
Xavier. Ghetto fabulous. “Ex-Xavier.” The one that got duped into the crib by Loriel. His parents think he’s the most gorgeous child ever. He’s the most well-dressed child I’ve ever seen, and I don’t mean that in a good way. This is the kid that went the entire winter without boots (we live in Michigan people) and then showed up first thing of spring with new sneakers. I call him Stupidhead (not to his face). He’s a total knuckle dragger. He always comes in with his hat on sideways. Whenever the kids dance, he grabs a “mic” with one hand and his crotch with the other. He got in a minor disagreement with one kid and resorted to walking up on him and bumping chests. When he gets in trouble, his parents don’t threaten spankings, they threaten “beatdowns.”
Sauvignon. “Like a fine Italian wine.” Mr. Attitudinal Mama’s Boy. Always needs to be the center of attention. Never stops talking, even when playing by himself. Doesn’t want to play unless you play his way. Constantly checking the nearest adult to see if you a) are providing him with your undivided attention or b) saw whatever he just did that he wasn’t supposed to do. Champion pouter. Fellow swirl. Has a half-sibling that’s a month younger than him who receives full child support unlike himself. His daddy is a dealer in Vegas and has been putting off having his momma and him move out there for a year and a half.
Josiah. This one I like. Sweetest kid ever. Plays well with everybody. Look at those cheeks! Very cool parents. Helpful. Polite. I love Jo.
Dani. The baby. This little girl is smart as hell. She just turned two and at almost a year younger than Xavier she’s more coordinated and only slightly less articulate. She’s got a big ol’ noggin. Hopefully someday the rest of her body will catch up with her head.
